Quote: In my sitch, I found that "snooping around" became addictive and highly destructive as I also found things that were not reassuring. The negative comments that your W wrote about in her journal are a reflection of the hurt and pain she is experiencing right now...the more you feel the need to convince her that she is undervaluing the good things in your marriage, the more she will most likely pull away from you and even blame you.
Very good, Kim. I hear your strong caution against snooping and agree that its an endless cycle with only momentary relief. And I appreciate the reminder about her pain.
Quote: she had written in her journal that she saw you as "manipulative", especially if she senses pursuit. When you made that comment to your W, she seemed to respond with telling you that she was thinking about moving away and applying for a job elsewhere. She [is]at the point in her life where the more pressure she feels, the more she will want to flee... you should try not to insist on talks about your relationship with her.
Yeah, I think now I let it go and wait for her to bring it up. I distance in terms of the R.
Quote: I think that all questions and issues that deal with your marriage should be put on hold until she wants to talk about them.
This point is huge. I agree that this work should likely wait til she's ready to commit to trying.
Kim, I didn't take offense and appreciate your input immensely! You are a sweetheart for caring.
T wrote:
Quote: Don’t let them think they are the only show in town. It’s absolutely amazing just how much a little rivalry can stir up a person’s hot-blooded romantic desire for you.
Brilliant reading, T! Where are you getting this? Is this DR or elsewhere? If DR, I need to review the ol' manual! So, the reasons for the appearance of being in circulation: 1)Increased Appreciation and 2) Practice of R skills.
Very good! In my sitch, W had me labeled as a womanizer or with a wandering eye, and my sitting tight for 9 months has hopefully debunked most of that. Now she journals flabbergasted about my being 'abstinant' almost with frustration, as if she doesn't know what to do about it. I think it may be turning into a point of frustration with her, and seeing me out with others (or at least this impression) may just spark some interest.
So, the reasons for the appearance of being in circulation: 1)Increased Appreciation and 2) Practice of R skills. 
almost with frustration, as if she doesn't know what to do about it. I think it may be turning into a point of frustration with her, and seeing me out with others (or at least this impression) may just spark some interest.
