Thanks for the compliment. You win the award for longest post ever to one of my threads! Yet it was all great feedback - I appreciate that very much.
- The 'hmmm' look is good. I will give that a try when she makes future outrageous claims.
- I think she'll get the point as well about finances. I don't want her to be to harsh on herself in terms of guilt, more depressive self-judgments, just to learn to do things a bit differently. [I actually like that she'll be doing s/t fun for S5's sake. She's going with a non-rel ex-SIL of mine and a 5yo cousin of S5. SIL wasn't very supportive of our M, distant until probs occurred, then jumped in to support W's D. I'm staying distant from SIL and my estranged bro for this reason.]
- Shifting some effort from self-care to other-care. W was very jealous of my attention/focus on S5 early in his life/our M. I think she has some grounds for this, as I went ga-ga over my son, and I wasn't feeding her needs as well as I should have (think love bank). So it's a solid idea, that I increase my care for him in obvious ways (I'm thinking soccer, swim lessons, music lessons that I arrange, with room for her to attend/participate as well.)
But I'll need to keep fitting in some 'attendance' to her in small, nonthreatening ways. Just momentary tastes of my ability to feed her, and the message that I won't ever forget that healthy part of an R again.
