Quote: I told W that she looked nice, she rolled her eyes and looked blankly at me,
Did you use your best Barry White voice?
Quote: I'm not sure I can love this woman who can hurt me so much. I feel ruined for other Rs as well, as if that trust or ability to feel safe won't happen again. She told me in our last R convo that I needed to move on.
It's difficult to love the personna of the woman she is now, and I hear you loud and clear on the trust, which is why you are probably far from ready for another R at this time. However, as for "moving on," remember that this needn't entail a new R. Just as a runner who loses their legs can no longer jog through the park (please, no comments on prosthetics) and must move on and find new means of release or exericise, you are in the same boat regarding relationships. In addition to S5 there must be other new friendships you can pursue absent an intimate R. I hate to sounbd trite, but we can only do the best with the cards we've been dealt; that's what most of us on the BB are doing without betting our entire emotional bank on drawing a Royal Flush. Be well and take care of S5.
