Hey Gabe:

I agree with dejavu. My W has done this to me for the past two years, trying to horse-trade time with D3. Initially I reacted just the way that you did in the convo, i.e. ask the wherefores and whatfors etc. Maybe your W is feeling that you are having too much fun and GAL at her expense. her money issues are reality biting her. I have learnt over time that it is far better to simply agree with whatever the WAW says. Eventually they run out of things to fight about and then they face up to all the crap that they "planned" turning out to be crap. Unfortunately, highly educated women (and men) somehow think that just because they are smart in school, they automatically make smart decisions about their lives. We all know that history clearly shows there is absolutely no correlation between ability to solve math problems and wisdom in one's life. As far as I know, neither Christ nor Buddha nor Gandhi could ever have figured out the theory of black holes even if they wanted to. And the lives of Einstein and Newton do not indicate that they made the best life-decisions. Ah, but I digress.....The point I am making is that with highly educated women (and men) the process of unmasking for them the sh!tty decisions that they are making in their MLC state is doubly difficult.

Gabriel, I think you already feel that previous conversation was not A+ in DBing. Let me give you my experience in sharing time with D3 with my WAW. Initially, the way it worked out, I had her for more time than WAW. She wanted it that way I think because she was stressed out. That did not make her happy of course. Then, about six months ago, she wanted more time with D3. I had two choices - oppose it and put negative energy in the R and fight over two or three hours with D3 of give her those hours and perhaps gain some advantage in the R. I did the latter. It made things much better between WAW and me. In your case your W is doing the opposite. Perhaps she is feeling single mothering burdensome or maybe it is just competing with you to GAL. Either way, go with the flow. Eventually the truth will hit her in the face, that there are severe consequences for HER in walking away from an R.

UD

The 3 laws of DBing: 1. PMA is critical to DBing. 2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical. 3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.