Romance is so very important. It is hard to keep up with it when one is not being fed in return. I think this becomes a big issue if one's spouse gets depressed. Yet it likely would really help things if the partner returned to it periodically to see how it improved things.
On the phone, W vented to me about $ issues, talking about med insurance probs causing her to pay for stuff out of pocket when she's "broke." I don't think she's broke, as it would be hard for her to have spent all the settlement I paid her in so short a time, but she's likely saving it as a down payment on her condo. Anyway I validated, prob inappropriately asked if she needed any $, and she said "no." She went on how she and S5 are eating lots of mac&cheese, to which I replied "I don't want my S5 and you living on that stuff. That's not okay. If things are that bad, we need to talk about it." She declined (I blew just validating, I know. One of these days I'll get it). Anyway when I called later, S5 was cheery, told me they went to the grocery store, and triumphantly told me that W bought him the Batman toy I had said no to a few days prior.
Had a run-in with W this morn. At pick-up, W brought up in the kitchen in a 'business-partner' air that she'd like to expand my time with S5 starting this weekend, alternating with me having him Fri-thru Sun afternoons one week, then overnight Fri the next (eves during the week as always), starting in two days. I told her that this was a change and asked why? She said b/c it would be best for S5. I got a bit jealous, and said "Why don't you just be honest w/me and tell me what is behind this?" (I'm assuming that she's focused on nightlife/dating). She responded, "My life is none of your business. I'm only thinking of S5." Then She escalated, said "You're not free on a Fri night? Why would you be busy?" and asked me to wait outside. When S5 came out, I put him in the car, then told her this week would be okay, but we'd need to negotiate his schedule. She responded, "Nope, you can't have him. That's not a good idea."
I sent her in email form and by letter a visitation revision that would be the same except for the long weekend consisting of Sat & Sun overnights, allowing me to drop him off at school.
Ouch. More than a bit of backsliding here. I really felt the jealousy for a bit. From her, I don't think the anger about me being out on Fri was the same jealousy/interest, but seemed more like a competitive MLCer take.
I looked good at pickup, had a nice new shirt on, and I think this helped to triggered s/t in her.
At pick-up, W brought up in the kitchen in a 'business-partner' air that she'd like to expand my time with S5 starting this weekend, alternating with me having him Fri-thru Sun afternoons one week, then overnight Fri the next (eves during the week as always), starting in two days. I told her that this was a change and asked why? She said b/c it would be best for S5. I got a bit jealous, and said "Why don't you just be honest w/me and tell me what is behind this?" (I'm assuming that she's focused on nightlife/dating). She responded, "My life is none of your business. I'm only thinking of S5." Then She escalated, said "You're not free on a Fri night? Why would you be busy?" and asked me to wait outside. When S5 came out, I put him in the car, then told her this week would be okay, but we'd need to negotiate his schedule. She responded, "Nope, you can't have him. That's not a good idea." 
