Had a good time with S5 and friends last night. The boys enjoyed the movie, and we had a nice evening swimming and talking. I noticed that my buddy's wife enjoyed talking with me, keeping our convo going at times when it could easily have died. I wondered in the moment if my generally improved listening skills and efforts to relax were pulling that from her. W noted that I tended to be quite flawed in the art of convo - at least w/ her - and I hope I can keep showing signs of improvement with others, with the goal of taking it back to my R with her.
When I admitted that I still love W, my buddy acted shocked, stating "even after all she's done!" Yet he remained supportive, and thankfully didn't try to discourage me.
As we pulled into the neighborhood for dropoff this morn, W was walking in the complex for exercise. Her head was down a bit despite listening to music and her face looked sad. At the house, she asked about our evening and I told her. Didn't want to ask her about hers for fear of seeming to be prying. W asked me to change the water filters at some point, and I ordered some, with the intent to do so early this week.
As I said goodbye on the phone last night and again this morning, W has made friendly statements, like "Have a nice weekend" or "Hope you have a nice time, too." May sound like nothing to most of you, but this is a big improvement over the past.
Noticed that a pile of scrapbooks about us were set by the couches, as if she thumbed thru them last night or this morn. S5 went immediately to them, found a pic of W and I, and noted "Dad, here's where you and Mommy were boyfriend-girlfriend!" Sigh!!!
I've been more regular about my prayer regarding my sitch, and that, plus my other GAL work, seems to be increasing my peace and helping to quiet my crazymaker.
I'm not there yet, but I am starting to feel that confidence and assuredness that "everything will be okay" regardless of the current situation.
She looked hot walking around the neighborhood. Despite all this, no one catches my eye like W.
