Unfaithful wife

[Burgbud]

The fact is, together we would be financially ok, apart we will be devestated.

Yeah, I can relate.

Maybe you could consider validating her feelings about finances without validating the substance of her complaints? And if it comes down to it, you might be better served validating the whole thing. It leaves her nothing but air to argue with. I think the problem you've got is this: if she's misusing the financial issues to justify her behavior, then she's already not looking at the finances accurately. Given the tendencies of WAS's on this board, it seems unlikely that you're going to be able to use logic to alter her mindset.

At least with my W, validating some pretty insane crap seems to work better than the alternative. At the very minimum it makes me not the enemy.

Give it a try and see if it works. You can always try something else if it doesn't. And it's an interesting experiment to see if something so unintuitive can actually work, sort of like reverse psychology.