Unfaithful wife

[GGgoingEZ]

No, not psychic; unfortunately, just personally well experienced with the "pinging effect." I've lived it & it's well described here in so many other sitch's.

Many times, you will have the answers to your own questions, e.g.

I figured that she would realize that she liked being with me last night and her guilt defenses would kick into overdrive.

Bingo.

And the solutions:

I am standing back, and trying to realize that this too shall pass

Bingo, again.

So your biggest challenge will be to CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS & Actually Stand Back, or respond, like you KNOW you should. HOW you respond makes the difference. Just ignore everything she said, don't confront her with it, don't look for reassurance, STAND Back, & let the iron cool down. What kind of 180 could you do that would just blow her mind & make her see you as an even greater guy? Instead of a resentful one? Behave THAT way.

Ya see, (and you know it already) that wall she has built was shaken up pretty hard recently & she has to rebuild it pretty quickly. That's what you were hearing. Learn to listen not to the WORDS she says, but to the MESSAGE she is communicating and then, dont REACT to her words, but respond to her by Validating her--"Yeah, you're right, I never did get those lights installed. I feel bad for times I might have made you feel you're requests weren't important to me."

You're doing very good man, keep it going! Keep posting, practicing, and learning.