Oh my ... altho on the one hand, I don't wish to see anyone still active on this bb ... on the other, its good to see a familar "face" in the crowd.
Quote: In his own way, he is going out of his way to show love. I don't think I will ever be completely settled, thoughts of his betrayal still intrude, and in many ways it was not as much the realtionship with ow, but the lies that still bother me. They don't cloud my days, but they are just there, you know.
I do know ... its still a portion of our defense mechanism that hasn't a shutoff ... that little voice in our head that saying "WAS hurt me once, they can hurt me again." While now we have made a conscientious effort to block out the second part knowing that its not likely to come about, the first part keeps going off.
"WAS hurt me once ... WAS hurt me once ... WAS hurt me once ..."
... but as Martha pointed out, I think the key is in understanding those actions taken that hurt us were from an altered attitude based on the series of events that led up them finally making a choice to change their attitude that led them astray.
Perhaps in time to settle what bothers you ( & myself) is to, daily, follow them with the reminder that the foundation for that attitude no longer exists, elimanting any chance of being hurt the same way again. Now its time for us to put in the daily effort to change our attitude about what they did to us and hopefully in time our new attitude will become comfortable enough to seem like second nature and then maybe that voice in our heads will fade away.
