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I know we all lie, little white lies, some whopping ommisions, sometimes because it is easier. But this is the person who promised never to lie to me. So how deep is his love? Am I taking a risk that there will be other promises he will break? The fact that he will not sit down, and talk through what the affair means to him, now with hindsight, the fact that he still seems to want to just brush the whole 12 months under the rug, makes me very nervous that there is still work to be done here, and I can only do so much by myself.

Slowly





Don't allow him to make promises if it makes you worry he will break them. Just accept as much from him as is comfortable to you. Promises are just words anyway My H used to say ILY all the time. It used to bug the hell out of me as I didn't *feeel* loved so I banned him from saying ILY. The odd thing is I feel more loved now that he isn't saying it than I did when he was!!! It forced him to show how he feels as he can't just use words. If you don't allow your H to make promises he can't break them. Make him promise you give him power ...why would you want to do that? He'll do what he wants anyway! (They always do)

Why stress about his reluctance to talk about the A? Who is it hurting? YOU! You don't deserve that. You won't get the absolute truth even if he does tell you. You will get his version of events, they are unlikely to be acurate. Why not just make up your own scenario , imagine it to have been a sad and unppy time for him etc. It will make you feel good and be good to be around. It is so esy to pick up 'vibes' from people. H probably senses that you are stressed about this and is thinking if he tells you things will get worse...act as if you don't care. Don't waste another moment of your time thinking about this old troll. She just aint worth it.

Take care
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