I know what you mean when you talk of going through the motions and being only half awake...don't beat yourself up about that, it happens. We are probably all guilty of that at some time or another. Thank your lucky stars that you were awakened and realise what the problem was and are working on it rather than doing what many people do in today's society and just moving on...still only half awake / aware to your next R. The difficult thing is to stick it out. Your H does sound like he is tryingto make things better. It may not be in the way you would like him to but he is trying- you've said that yourself.
In one respect it is a human instinct to be wary of people that have hurt us in the past. Self preservation and all that. But just think of it like this..he did the one thing he promised he wouldn't - he lied. It hurt like hell but you survived, you got through it, you lived to tell the tale and grow from it. If he does it again....well, I don't doubt you will survive that too. I doubt it will come as such a shock but you'll get through it.
You're doing good. You are such a brave person for sticking with it. I wish I had a fraction of your strength.
