in many ways it was not as much the realtionship with ow, but the lies that still bother me. They don't cloud my days, but they are just there, you know.
I was just talking about this the other day. How do we get past this???
I don't have too much time here, so my questions will be brief (and pointed). (Getting out the velvet-covered 2x4...)
I think we need to ask ourselves what we are getting out of this by hanging on. What do you get out hanging on to the fact that your H/WAS lied to you? There must be some pay-off or you wouldn't still be hanging on to it, would you?
Furthermore, I'm hearing a lot of "victim" mentality in some of these statements. Haven't we each come too far to think of ourselves as victims any longer?
My two cents, fwiw. I think we hang on to this stuff b/c it gives us power. It gives us a stick we can still drag out at some future time and say, "See! Look at what you did to me? You LIED to me!"
At least I know that's what I got out of hanging onto stuff with SO. And I know it's what my sister got out of hanging onto to stuff too. She used to drag out "sticks" that were 10 years old or older and whack me over the head with them when I'd least expect it.
Again, my .02 fwiw, from my own humble (and humbling) experiences.
