Hi all - Thank you for your feedback, I've just been sitting with them for a while. Quite a lot has happened since my little faux pas. Let me see if I can do a decent job journaling my journey.
Sage, your observations are as always, right on the money. NG and I are still on different paths in terms of how we deal with the affair, and its consequences.
Quote: For me it's always something that's so darned resonating of "that time" and I think part of my reaction is because HE just doesn't hear it.
It seems like I want to remember it so that the contributing factors are prevented, and NG just seems to want to forget it ever happened It may be part of his defence mechanism, I have seen him deploy denial in other relationships when he feels unable to cope with the enormity of what unfolds.
Over the weekend, we made the decision to make room for a live-in housekeeper. Cooking and cleaning has been a chore, one that I used to undertake with some resentment (after all, I go out to work and did not see why I was cooking while the other party was sitting on the couch watching tv ) Well, NG totally rose to the occassion and organised all the paperwork. We have some nervousness about our privacy, this will be the first time in 22 years that we have someone else living with us, but I have to say, I did get the feeling from NG that he understands how hard it has been keeping the house and work balanced.
This means I will have some time to pursue the post grad course I've been wanting to. Going back to school, even on a part time basis is such a dream, I'm thrilled I'm going to be able to pursue this. In the past NG has thrown up numerous objections, this time, I'm just going ahead. I have 6 weeks to enrol and choose my modules. Philosophy has been a fascination for a while, and my thesis idea at the moment is to explore how online communities are changing the way knowledge and communal support works
Funny how I had lots more churning through my head while shopping for grocery just now, and it seems to have evaporated now Back later.
It may be part of his defence mechanism, I have seen him deploy denial in other relationships when he feels unable to cope with the enormity of what unfolds. 
) Well, NG totally rose to the occassion and organised all the paperwork. We have some nervousness about our privacy, this will be the first time in 22 years that we have someone else living with us, but I have to say, I did get the feeling from NG that he understands how hard it has been keeping the house and work balanced. 
Back later. 
