This is going back to almost two weeks ago when frankly I was not feeling good about NG or the R. Sage's question has been going round in my mind, and yes, I do need to be better at pinning down specifics
Quote: What do you mean by "feel like the way we were pre-a"? Care to elaborate? Maybe we can help brainstorm.
Upon reflection, although on the surface things may feel like they are the same, the more I peel the onion, the more I see that there are differences, at least for me. I suppose I'm concerned that NG seems to be going through the same motions as he used to a couple of years ago - sitting on the couch all weekend, watching tv, apparently happy to have me organise our home, meals, holidays, outings with friends, phew the list goes on.
Here is where I start seeing that actually I do not have to do any of these things. If I just leave things alone, eventually he does come out of his shell and makes an effort. Sooo, the thing I need to do differently to create a change is actually, do nothing. And every now and then, ask specifically for what I want - like asking him if he would take me to the gynae - it was a breeze, he agreed to it no problem.
Some of this feels like going back to basics - observing what I'm uncomfortable about, deciding what outcome I'd like, and then developing a solution (do nothing, or ask NG to do something very specific). Someone keep reminding me of this OK?
Slowly
