I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling with your sitch lately... I do believe that the most important thing to learn from all of this is to love and respect yourself. There were a few weeks where I saw so much more confidence and strength in your posts... IMHO... you need to try to appear calm and assured with your H. The less said to your H about your frame of mind the better... Think to yourself: "I believe in me"... "I can cope regardless of the outcome!"... It think that it is true that the error of the vulnerable person during the deterioration of a marriage is too talk TOO much. However, your H seems to have become non-communicative and a bit mysterious lately. He does not appear to really want to sit down and explain his true feelings to the person who desperately wants to know how he feels about your marriage. JV... Try to choose your words more carefully too. Be more discreet with him... Put out a quiet confidence. He does not need to hear about the pain you have been experiencing with the seperation right now.
JV... I do believe that the partner who is threatening to end the marriage (your H) is rarely convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is doing the right thing. He has a conscience and guilt. He may appear determined and his manner may be saying: "I don't care anymore", but he may also be having conversations in his mind where he continues to question what is the right thing to do. I am sure that he does not want his relationship with you to go back to what it used to be. IMHO... you need to make him wonder if he could ever get YOU back!
As far as you being able to "make" him happy... No one should be expected to carry another person emotionally. Only HE can make himself happy... He does not have a right to lay that total load on YOU. JV... It just may be worth sitting with this discomfort for a little bit and see if you feel the same after a little rest or break. (ie: NO MORE RELATIONSHIP TALK)... You deserve to be happy, JV! I am thinking of you... -KIM
