I've been reflecting on what's been happening with H and myself over the past week or two, and it just hasn't been pretty. I'm afraid I've been thinking too much about "what ifs" and "will he or won't he" kind of stuff. I've unfortunately been letting thoughts run through my mind like "is H seeing anyone?" or "has someone caught his interest yet?" Well, that's because I know it's not me. I've been quite edgy, irritable, and moody over the past couple of weeks, so I'm sure I've become very "unattractive" to H.
I don't know why I'm doing this. My guess is it's my insecurity that's playing a big part here -- not knowing what H is up to every night and who he might be with. Oh, and PMS, too . That usually occurs and lasts for about a week before that time of the month. So, yeah -- look out!
I need to watch myself especially if there's any chance of H coming home at the end of the month. I need to try to be more loving, warm, and friendly with him. I haven't been doing too good with that lately , and because of it, I've noticed that H has stopped giving me hugs and kisses like he was when he first moved out. He's also stopped saying "ILY".
I didn't talk to H yesterday, but he did call me on my cellphone earlier this afternoon while I was school shopping for S9 and S5. He didn't sound so good; he sounded like he had been drinking too much the night before. Anyway, he said he just wanted to see what I was up to and that he would pick up the boys tomorrow to visit with him.
H called again about 20 minutes ago for...well, nothing really. Just the same stuff as his first call. He asked what I was doing, and I told him I was just relaxing. Then he told me he went to the gym and now was on his way to Pacheco (there's a poker room there). H said to tell the boys hello for him, give them a hug and kiss, and tell them he loves them. I said ok, and H said he would see us tomorrow.
Ok, I gotta go. Kids are calling me. Thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
. That usually occurs and lasts for about a week before that time of the month. So, yeah -- look out! 
, and because of it, I've noticed that H has stopped giving me hugs and kisses like he was when he first moved out. He's also stopped saying "ILY".
