I'm not sure where to start. H and I got into it again while he came to bring the boys back home. I think it boils down to me not wanting to hear any more complaints and H being VERY tired and stressed out from the weekend (he REALLY looked like ).
I asked him if he could watch the baby on Wednesday so I could help MIL with painting her kitchen (he said he would), and I also asked him if he could at least watch S9 and S5 for the weekend of the 13th, and I was going to try to get my parents to watch the baby for that weekend to make it easier for him. He said, "Sure. Whatever....Why? What's happening that weekend?" I told him it was going to be a girls' weekend. H asked what that meant, and I told him I was going to a concert with P, J, and some of their friends then on Saturday we're going out on the boat.
H walked up to me, gave me a hug goodbye, said goodbye to the boys, then said as he was walking out the door, "Any guys going?"
Here comes smarta** JV with, "Why do you always have to think the worst? Like when I go out with my friends or my sisters, you automatically think there's going to be guys involved, don't you? I'm not looking to meet anyone, H. Maybe you are or were, but I'm not."
Then he left but called within seconds of walking out to tell me to open the garage so he could put the baby's carseat in there. When I did, H said angrily but also on the verge of tears, "Why do you have to say that s**t to me?!" I said, "I could ask you the same thing, H. Why do you have to call and leave a message telling me you don't care if I'm out meeting guys?" H said, "Because I don't! I WANT you to find someone else! It's what I deserve!" I was angry and said, "Whatever, H! You probably want me to so it'll be easier for you. So you can move on and tell whoever that I gave up on us first. I bet when you told your friends you weren't happy in this M that you didn't even tell them what you did, did you? You didn't tell them you cheated because you didn't want to look like an a**. Right?" He didn't say anything -- he just flipped me off and left.
I am so not DBing anymore; it's just sad. Everything's coming down, and the really sad thing is that I don't even feel like trying to stop it.
I wanted to be one of those success stories, but that is not going to happen. Not here.
H always assumes the worst when I'm out or away, tells me he doesn't care, calls me the worst names and uses every swear word he can, and is non-supportive of what I do as a mother/wife. He's so nice when he needs my help with something, and so mean and nasty when things aren't to his liking. He continues to throw daggers at me with still making me feel that I ruined his life.
What happened to the good times? The good things about H? I used to be able to remember them and now I can't, and I already know that I haven't been showing my good side to H either.
It's all coming down. I give up.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
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