H called earlier to say hi and to tell me how he did with poker and at the gym. He also said he wants S9 and S5 to spend the night with him tonight.
Before we said goodbye, H asked, "Do you think the boys still love me?" I was stunned for a second and told him, "Yes! Why wouldn't they?" H said, "I just wonder how this is for them....Will you ask them about it?" I told H if he wanted to know then he should probably be the one to ask. He said alright and he would.
A few hours ago, the boys and I were driving back home from the store, and H's concern popped back into my mind, so I asked S9 and S5, "Boys,...how do you feel about Daddy and Mommy not living together right now? Does it make you feel sad, happy, or just ok? How do you feel?" S9 said nothing, but S5 said rather quickly, "Sad." Then S9 said that he felt sad about it, too, and S5 asked me when is Dad going to come back home because he wants "to be a family again".
I did my best to explain to them that it didn't mean we weren't a family just because Dad wasn't in the house with us right now. I told them how sometimes Moms and Dads just need to take a break from each other -- like when S9 and S5 have to be put apart from each other when things get not-so-nice between them. I told them we are still a family because we care and love each other very much. No matter what happens. I told them H and I may live together again or we may not, but either way, we still love them both so much, and none of this is their fault. It's nothing they did or said; it's just stuff that Daddy and I have to try to work out for what's best for all of us. I said, "Ok?", and they said ok.
I had no idea they were sad about this. I just couldn't see it, and now when I think about the past 2 1/2 weeks, they have seemed to be a little more unruly. I mean, I know "boys will be boys", but they have been acting up a bit more with each other and not listening right away when I tell them to do something.
Any thoughts please? And should I mention this to H? Thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
