H just called to let me know that he had to check out (mf)'s water heater and was going to pick up XXX (friend) to help him out (H isn't the handyman type). There's no hot water whatsoever. I reminded H that he was still welcome to come over to the house while I'm gone -- even if it's only to give the kids their baths.
Then I said, "Would you mind taking (baby), too, please because I had some things I really wanted to do today." H asked what things, and I told him about my pampering day . H said, "Alright. Uhhh....I guess get all their things together that they'll need for the weekend, (blah blah blah). I'll need a number to call you at in case I need to get a hold of you."
My service won't reach that far . I told H I was going to give him P's cell phone number (she's alright with that). There was dead silence for a moment, then he said ok and we hung up. BTW, I did tell him just how thankful I am .
So...I didn't necessarily put my foot down, but I did stand up a bit for what I wanted .
JV's "vacation" begins in a few hours (or less)!!!!
Thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Last edited by JVJKB; 07/14/0505:20 PM.
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
Aaaahhhhhhh! That sounds sooooo good! I've made an appointment to get my hair done as well but not until July 28th!!! That's the price you pay for a good stylist
I'm thinking when I get back from the cottage I'm going to go and get a pedicure and a massage! I deserve it too!!!
Scotti, you be sure to do just that because, YES, you do deserve it ! We all do !
--------------------------------
Journaling:
Aaaahhhh......what a day . Too bad it's over.....but I've got the next 3 days to look forward to !
So...H arrived around 2:30pm or so for the kids. He seemed to be fairly short with me and in a bit of a hurry to get going ( ), but I was still putting the boys' stuff together. There came a point where it was really irking me so I asked, "Did I do something wrong?" H looked at me and said, "No. Why?" I told him, "I don't know. You just seem kinda short with me and like you're in a hurry or something." He didn't say anything, and I walked away to continue packing things.
When I walked back into the kitchen, H was laying on the floor with the baby crawling on him. As I was walking past him, H grabbed my ankle and said, "I'm sorry if I seemed short with you and in a hurry. I didn't mean to. I just thought everything would be ready for us to go." I told H ok, and I apologized for not having all the bags packed for the kids.
Just out of curiosity , I asked H if he picked up his new wedding band yet.....he hadn't.
I finished up, and after kissing all the boys goodbye, I thanked H again for taking the boys for this weekend. H said, "You don't need to thank me. They ARE my kids.".....EXCUUUSE ME, H .....Well, I kind of wished I hadn't, but I motioned for H to let me give him a kiss on the cheek. He let me, but he didn't look too thrilled about it.
They left, I shut the garage door, and I was on the verge of tears..... .....but I told myself, "Come on. Keep it together...(sigh)...Time to go and GAL."
Alright. By that time, it was just after 3pm, and my hair appt was for 5pm. I decided I would go to some other place for my haircut and keep the appt for just the coloring and highlighting -- I didn't feel like paying $30 for the haircut at the salon . It's bad enough they charge over $100 for the other two !
Anyway, that left me with no time for a manicure and pedicure today since coloring/highlighting took about an hour and a half, and the place I go to for my manicure closes at 7pm. So guess where I'll be tomorrow morning ?!
BTW, I LOVE MY HAIR ! I was waaaayyy overdue for a change .
After getting my hair done, well....I just couldn't help myself, and I HAD to go shopping ! I bought a new bathing suit that hides the extra pounds well , and of course, a new outfit for Girls' Night Out ! WOOO HOOO!!!!
Oh! And we must not forget the cute little black purse to match ! Hmmmm.....I hope I have a decent pair of shoes to go along with it.....hmmmm .....I just might have to make another shopping trip before heading out tomorrow afternoon LOL!!!
Thanks for listening, everyone!
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
Don't read too much into your H's behavior. I would suspect he is a bit put off that you are planning a good time. He seems to like you being at home and this trip is probably causing him to feel something he isn't accustomed to feeling.
He might not even understand what it is but it will manifest itself as an "attitude". At least that was what would happen to me sometimes.
He may be "worried" about your activities. He may show this to you when you return by asking alot of questions.
I was trying to figure out what was the matter and began to personalize , but I had forgotten how H has always been "insecure" about me going out without him. So I'd say that your suspicion is most likely right on target, and yes, I'm sure there will be some questions when I get back . If he does ask, H will want details, and being vague with him doesn't work so well .
Went and had my manicure and pedicure this morning. Isn't it wonderful being pampered ?! Then I went and window-shopped a bit after that. Nothing cried out, "Buy me! Buy me!" today ! I did buy a new beach towel though since H took all of the ones from here.
So I'll be on my way to P's house in 2 hours then off we go to T's house in Paso Robles.
Thanks again, Jet, and I will have fun ! I hope everyone has a great weekend, and thank you for always listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
I know you are still out partying with your sisters. We need to hear all the details of the fun you had this weekend when you get back!! And NO details of anything having to do with your H upsetting you for ANY reason! Right?? Right!!
Wellll....I don't think so, D! But I did have an awesome time !
We didn't get to T's house until after 12:30am -- we left P's house at around 7pm then stopped to eat an hour later and met up with J and her H in Patterson.
Loooong drive ......but we were a bit wired when we finally got there, so P, J, T, and I stayed up for a while just talking while my 11-year-old niece was watching a cartoon channel. Some of the "Pink Panther" cartoons came on, and my sisters and I began reminiscing about how we used to love the Pink Panther ! And then we realized, "Hey -- they NEVER talked in this cartoon!!" LOL!! Then we started laughing about his "cool-cat" walk at the end of the cartoons! You know, that little skip he does LOL!!! My niece got up and said, "Old people!" and left the room! LOL!! Hey -- I'm only 30! I'm still a baby.... . We finally went to bed after 1:30am .
Saturday, we got up and had breakfast then checked out the local farmers' market. After that, we went to the store to get lunch and snacks for the beach (no timeshare after all -- T waited too long ), and off we went ! Boy, can you say HOT??!!! We had a lot of fun though. Two of my nieces came with us, and they buried us in the sand ! We only hung out for a few hours because we didn't want to be too burnt out for Girls' Night Out !
So we went back to T's place and relaxed for awhile before going out. The guys wanted to know where their steak dinners were . P and J told them the pizza guy was bringing their dinner LOL!! That was so funny! The guys were ok with it; they were only kidding to begin with . T's boyfriend has a room set up like a movie theater in the house (the whole works) so the guys were going to stay and watch the kids while watching the fights that night.
After we got ourselves all dressed up and lookin' good , we went to eat at this place called Villa Creek (I think ) in Paso Robles. VERY good food -- YUM ! It's a mix of Spanish, Mediterranean, and Mexican foods. Then after our LATE dinner, we went to San Luis Obispo (30 minutes away) to check out the bar scene . No dance clubs around -- oh well.
OMG, I felt sooooo old and out of place ! I think I only saw 2 people who were older than us in the bar, and they had to be in their 50s, maybe 60s (sorry, no offense intended)! Everyone else looked to be in their early 20s, and then I remembered that CalPoly is right there.
But hey -- I'm not complaining. It was VERY NICE to LOOK at and be around all of those young, HOT college boys !.....Yummy !
So we gossiped while having some drinks and danced a few times . One guy did ask me to dance, but I don't know. I guess I just didn't feel quite right or ready to do that . I was already having a great time with my sisters ! Then we went back to T's house around 1am.
Yesterday, we just hung around her house to help go over paint colors with T (she's redecorating), so she's planning a paint-party in the next month or so. P's having one in 2 weeks, and I'll be going to that. Call me crazy, but I LOVE painting ! I think it's fun, and I actually find it rather soothing .
We left T's at 6pm, got to P's house just after 10pm, and I arrived home by 11pm.
I had a GREAT weekend -- relaxing and fun ! No worries, no kids, no stress !
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend as well, and thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
Well, I already wrote about my weekend, so now about H.
He was actually here (at the house) last night -- I thought he would've been at his place with the kids, but oh well.
When I was leaving P's house last night, I turned on my cell phone since I was sure I'd have service there, and wouldn't you know it? It rang immediately . I didn't answer -- I just knew it was H -- but I called his cell about 10 minutes later. I asked him if he called, and he said yes. He wanted to know if it was alright for him to eat something out of the fridge. I said, "Oh, you're at the house?" He said yes but didn't say why nor did I ask.
H started telling me how tired HE was, how S9 was acting up a lot, and how the baby did nothing but fuss all weekend. S9 was mostly picking on S5, being picky about eating and not wanting to finish eating. H said the baby was clingy the whole time -- wanting to be held, rocked to sleep, and just crying here and there.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.......poor H , and he only had them for 3 1/2 days. Hmm.....maybe I should plan a week-long vacation next time . LOL!! Just kidding!
Well, my service kept cutting in and out, so I told H I would see him in less than an hour. I then called him when I was only 10 minutes away to see if he'd like for me to stop and get him something, and he said no thanks. H just wanted to leave when I got here to get himself a burger (ok, didn't I just ask him if I could get him anything??? Oohhh wellll) and a 6-pack so he could pass out and get some sleep -- H said he slept horribly the whole weekend because the boys hogged the bed.
Anyway, when I got here, I unloaded my things and took them inside. H offered to help, but I told him no thanks, I got it all. Then he started going on again about his very tiring weekend. I'm sorry, but I found it very difficult to validate any of his feelings because I was just thinking to myself, "Now you know what it's like to be with the kids all day, everyday, but you only had to do it for less than 4 days when I've done it for the past 9 1/2 years." But I did thank him again for watching them and told him it really meant a lot to me for him to do that. I also told H that I'll need him to watch them on the 30th (for P's painting party), and he said he would. He said he'll watch them anytime.
Then he was getting ready to leave, and just when I was thinking, "Ok...never mind about how my weekend went", he did ask. I started sharing some details then he interrupted ( ) and totally changed the subject with something that he needed a co-worker to do for him.... ....so I stopped talking. H said, "Go ahead and finish. I'm listening." I said, "No, you don't seem to be that interested." H said he was sorry for interrupting but he was listening so he asked me to finish. The apology didn't do anything for me because he always interrupts, and he's always sorry. So I just said, "My weekend was great, thank you. We went to the beach, we went out, and I had a very nice time," and that was all.
We talked a bit more about H's poker playing, and he's doing very well. He said he made over $2K on Saturday. H had said to me, "I'm tired right now, but I'm happier than I've ever been. I'm proud that I've been doing good with the kids and kicking a** on poker. Getting through these past 2 weeks has been hard, but I feel really good now. I'm happy." I told him that was good to hear......but it was difficult, too......then he left.
Before leaving for the weekend, I told H I would help him today with entering his resume into the CalJobs website. Well, first thing today, he called to remind me about it. I told him I would get to it as soon as I could, and not to worry -- it would be done. An hour later, he called again -- I hadn't been able to do it yet. 30 minutes later, H called and said, "Did you do it yet?" I'm getting a little annoyed, but I told him not yet. I was trying to clean up the house since it was left in disarray for me . H said, "Well...I don't want to put this off any longer. You told me you would help me with it today, and now you're acting like you don't want to." I told him, "I'm trying to clean up around here right now. I told you it (the resume) would get done today, and it will. It may take an hour -- it may take 3 hours -- but it will be done. Alright?" H said alright, thanks.
Another 30 minutes later...... ...... and he's bugging again. I told him, " Ok...can you give me about another 15 or 20 minutes? Can it wait that long?" He was quiet for a moment then said yeah.
So...20 minutes later, I started on it, and I called him about 20 minutes after that to let him know that it was finished. H said, "Thank you." I was still a bit irritated and just said, "Mmm hmm." Then after a sec, he said in his a**holish tone, "Thank you for being yourself again.".... ....I held my tongue then said goodbye.
(Sigh)..... I had a good day with my boys though . They told me all about their weekend, and I told them how much I missed them. It was great to get away, but of course, I couldn't help missing them . They're my babies ! Too hot to be outside again, so we just stayed inside, played some board games, made popcorn, and watched a couple DVDs .
Then H called around 8pm to talk to them. BTW, he told me last night that he was going to pick up S9 and S5 this afternoon to hang out with him....but that never happened.
Anyway like I was saying, he called at about 8pm to say he was going to play cards, and he called to talk to the boys. I put them on the phone then S9 handed it over to me when they were done. H said he was trying to talk to me before I put them on. I said, "Oh. Sorry about that. I just put them on." Then he told me that he would get S9 and S5 in the morning -- sorry, but if I had to put money on it, it's going to be sometime in the afternoon . H said, "Ok...well, bye." I said bye then we hung up.
I'm not exactly sure what I want at the moment. Right now, I feel like I love H...but only because I care deeply for him and because he is the father of my children. I feel like if he told me tomorrow that he was going to file for a D, I would be ok with that. I might tear up for a moment, but that's it. Nothing more.
I even feel like I could be the one to call it quits right now...and I don't feel scared about that anymore. H said he's happier than he's ever been...it was hard to "digest", but I was ok with that. I want him to be happy.
Thanks for listening.
JV
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
. H said, "Alright. Uhhh....I guess get all their things together that they'll need for the weekend, (blah blah blah). I'll need a number to call you at in case I need to get a hold of you."
. I told H I was going to give him P's cell phone number (she's alright with that). There was dead silence for a moment, then he said ok and we hung up. BTW, I did tell him just how thankful I am 
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