Trying to find MY way to happiness

[ValerieA]

Kim, I remember you telling me that there will be times when I'll long for my H......and tonight is one of them.

H wanted S9 and S5 to spend the night with him again. He was going to take the baby, too, but he was already asleep when H got here so H decided he would take him tomorrow night.

H dyed his hair blonde again! I told him it looked nice and asked him what made him decide to do that. H said it didn't come out exactly the way he wanted it (well...it WAS a teeny-tiny bit orange ), but he was trying to get it the way I liked it before. Hmmm...a little plus there?

H also asked if I minded if he stayed for a bit to play poker online. I said that was fine so he played for about an hour and made around $200.

The boys gave me a hug and kiss before they left. No hug or kiss from H , but I did get an "ILY" as he was walking out the door . I told him "ILY2".

(Sigh).... ....I just miss him tonight. He looked really good when he came to get the boys. He was only wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a cap, but he still looked good. He smelled nice, too. I miss that smell.

(Sigh)....Alright. Enough already before I get myself too far down in the dumps . I'm going to try to get some sleep, and I'm going to try to not stare at the unused pillow beside me.

I can get through this.

Thanks for listening to me pout .

JV

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."