Quote: Just pushing him away is not as likely to get the results you want. Tell him the path back to reconciliation. Then you will know if he is motivated or not, by what he does with that information.
Using the last resort technique requires a big drastic change. It's not like the few of us here who are in support of JV being strong are in favor of divorce. We would just like to see JV be in a much healthier marriage. She has tried a couple times to put things on the line for hubby. She has asked him for a compromise on the gambling of two nights. He didn't even do that for one week! She also asked him to take her places. He won't. It's always gambling. It's always him, him, and then him again.
To place him as sick is just pitying him I think. I honestly feel he is not sick. I do think he has a gambling problem and has just learned to be very manipulative. Bcause is not to sick to stay out till all hours of the night and gamble. Also I feel there is a strong possibility maybe there is a mid life crisis going on right now.
I really don't think you went to far JV. It is evident that he does love you. But he may never realize juist how much if you keep etting him walk on you and punish you. He hased you for his whole life being ruined. Married and children and bills according to him is all your fault. I think with the last resort technique you have to show him okay well if this is what you never wanted then now it is gone. Then let him see how that feels for awhile.
Another big indicator of things is how your family reacted. They are close up and actually see him and how he acts. They can also see you face to face and see the toll this is taking on you just by looking at your face.
I do honestly hope this will be the answer and your husband will change. You do deserve to be treated better.
But deep down JV are you just comfortable with this marriage and lifestyle? Because I noticed that you couldn't say you honestly loved your husband in the beginning.That just seems to speak volumes.
