JV - I 'm just a little worried about all the feedback you are getting here. It is normal for your friends to want your suffering to stop, but it doesn't always result in the most helpful advice.
I have a slightly different view. Your H has already shown you that he didn't really mean all those alien things he said. He's hurting and as motivated right now as he'll likely ever be to change. He's still desperately looking to hear you say you still love him, as he was before you booted him.
I think now is the time to strike, while the iron is hot, by telling him exactly what he needs to do in order to come home to you and the kids. -he needs to woo you - take you on dates, make time for you, make you feel loved and important to him - he needs to see a doctor or counselor to discuss his depression, bulimia, and possible gambling addiction
Just pushing him away is not as likely to get the results you want. Tell him the path back to reconciliation. Then you will know if he is motivated or not, by what he does with that information.
Your H is very sick right now, just abandoning him because of your hurt will not get you where you would like to be. Setting clear goals and objectives, and using the dog-training trick of rewarding good behaviors, will help more.
