Jv I am glad to hear you are going to your mom's. She is right and I think she is a very smart woman. She has probably seen this all along but was afraid to say something.

Your husband JV is very controlling. I feel this is nothing more then a control tactic with him. Like your mom said to put that glimmer of hope in your eyes and you say come on home honey. It's okay treat me like you have it's okay, I don't mind it. I know you have to be strong. But this is a last resort technique. It may be the thing that works and turns your whole marriage around. But you have to break these controlling tactics he is trying to use. You HAVE to show him what it is truely going to be like without you.

For one.......He asks you to keep the phone by you all night. To carry your cell phone on you at all times. That is controlling or trying to control you. I would politely and nicely tell him you don't feel that is necessary you are no longer together that way. That you are trying to heal right now and you feel a little distance would be better.

JV....his whole down in the dumps thing is yet another way I feel he is trying to control you and the situation. I am soooooo down. I am so depressed...so I need to gamble. I need to drink. I need to be away from home because I am just sooooo confused. Well, what the heck. What about you! That is what I would do and bring up every time he puts his down in the dumps guilt trip on you. Say I understand your down but I am working on me right now. I have been very hurt. I am very down and depressed and have had my ego shot. Don't be afraid to let him know he HAS hurt you and you are trying to heal right now. He wants to put it all on him.
Damn JV if he was soooooo hurt and felt so guilty about hurting you he would stop. He keeps saying he knows you deserve better and he has hurt you and that is why he can't face being home. But yet when he is there he treats you like crap a majority of the time. But yet he again tries to make YOU feel sorry for him. He should be feeling sorry for you and make it up to you.

I know there is a lot of what ifs right now. It is very scary I know. But just try to take it day by day. Don't think ahead right now. But try to be the strongest that you have ever been no matter how hard it is. Show him you do deserve better. You have to try and limit contact with him as much as possible. If he calls let the kid's answer and talk and then hang up. Don't let him make demands of you. Don't let him play the poor me routine. When he does just think back to all the lonely nights you spend.

I know you can do this you just have to stay strong. Go to your sisters no matter what he says. Even if you have to pick up in the morning and just leave before he would even arrive there. Let your family be a shoulder that you need right now. I know your sisters may get angry and say negative things about him. But JV they love you I'm sure and only want to see the best for their sister. Go have fun tomorrow. This will be the best thing for you and would be YOU thinking about YOUR happiness and getting the love and support from your family.