yes, mollie and dfb, I know some kind of intervention, and Mollie, you are right, getting the guns out is something I need to do. hm, I need to have someone come get them because I dont know where I would put them that he couldnt get them. I know where the shotguns are that he uses for hunting, but I'm pretty sure he has 2 pistols also, and i don't know where those are. I guess maybe I'll have to look for them somehow when he isnt there.
I just had a scary thought. I was thinking also that I need to get any drugs out of the house that could be used. At first I was thinking there arent any, but then I realized, somewhere I have an almost full bottle of prescription pain killers (narcotics) that I never used after surgery, and somewhere there is a 1/2 full bottle of Ambian. I'm sure they would be bad if combined, especially, and I just realized I dont know what has happened to those. they used to be in the medicine cabinet, I cleaned it out about a month ago and don't remember seeing them. that scares me. I need to look for those as well.
I am still seriously debating about talking to his supervisor. It seems like it would be such a betrayal, though, I HATE to over react. I wish I would hear from H again.
Get all the guns out. Then tell H that he needs to see a therapist - NOW - and get started on antidepressants or else you will speak to his supervisor (give him the chance to do it himself without being forced). He will complain, but point out to him, that if he had a patient who had taken a gun and threatened suicide, he would have them admitted right then!
Be tough - he will thank you later. He seriously needs help with his clinical depression. That means therapy AND antidepressants for the moment. Pull off a checklist for clinical depression from the internet and mark off all his symptoms and hand it to him, if you think you bneed to convince him.
Take it seriously, Deb - he's in trouble here. Does he have sick leave he can take?
Hi Ellie, yes, thanks, I know i have to get the guns out. I'm going to have his dad get them, I have a call in on their answering machine. I have to find the medication though, that almost worries me more, although I know guys are more likely to use guns, women more likely to use meds. I just can't figure out where that went to, I never gave it much thought when I cleaned the cabinet, but now I worry about that because I can't figure out where it could be, and it's harder to find than a gun.
I have a million lists of depression sypmtoms, even the "HANDS" depression screen. I will take it home with me tonight and go over it with him. I am thinking about calling our family physician to clue her in. she put him on AD several years ago, about 6 months before the damned A started in fact, and had re-upped his prescription to keep him on them for another 6 months, then he met the wonderful monster and decided he didnt need them and threw them out. And started refusing to go to the doctor. do you think there would be benefit in giving her a heads up???????? I am also thinking I may call one of the male former co-workers, the one he was weeping about being such a wise and holy man that he misses so much. The guy is also a therapist, a very good one, and I wonder if H might be more open to at least starting out to talk with him.
Fortunately he has LOTS of sick leave, I'm guessing 800 hours, which is what, 20 weeks? almost 6 months?
How dangerous are those damn meds????? Ambian, 5 mg, I think, probably 20 tabs, plus I dont recall what the Painkiller was...oh, I think it was Percodan? no, that's not it, it's something that is hot on the black market, but I cant think of the name now. probably 10/12 tabs...It is just so odd that it isnt in the med cabinet. I'm sure I didnt throw it out. That really really is worrying me, that maybe he's got it stockpiled somewhere.
This stuff is so exhausting.
Pray for us, guys. I will do my best to do my part, but I need your prayers.
Deb, a few months ago my sister kinda went through this type of depression episode. She called me crying and said she couldn't function cuz she was feeling so bad. I called her doctor told them what was going on and they made an appointment for her that day. I told my sis she was going and picked her up and took her in. She is also a gun owner and the doc said get the guns out--she even called that night to make sure they were out. Don't know if you can be that aggressive with your H but it might be worth a try to just set everything up and take him in.
Do you think that maybe you can have his family come by, telling him that they (including him) were all going out, and then going to family counseling? He needs serious help NOW, and I know you've said he won't go willingly.
