deb - Thanks for your invaluable advice/experience. My H has been saying that OW is not pressuring him, so I don't know if she would ever be nasty as the majority of posters have indicated. Maybe confused is not the right word? H said he is not confused, just conflicted. He does know that he wants the OW, but he also wants the family? He still says he loves me but just not as much He did say he wants to leave home to be alone. And now, he is gonna take a job overseas to be alone for a few months. We do still ML too (me using him as s@x slave?!?) as that is the only real connection we still have. I don't know.... What do you think? I have also tried to say nice things to him but no ILYs. No talking about OW too. I change the subject whenever the issue of our R or future comes up. I don't know how to respond at this point in time...We have been married almost 9 years and together for 18 years next week!! I've been there for him through all the ups and downs...

Deb - Thanks for your time...