Just a quick update. I really am starting to believe we finally made it! and I owe it all to the "ultimate dirty trick"! (and god and the coaching from folks here)
it was a good weekend. Saturday morning, H came back to bed after feeding the animals, snuggled, ml 2x, had no performance problems, and was happy and pleasant. He commented that he wished the weekends didnt go so fast...he used to say how hard the weekends were. He doesnt seem mournful about ow at all anymore.
During the day Saturday he came up to me and out of the blue hugged me and smooched me....I told him how nice that was, and he said "really?" and seemed surprised, then said "I'll have to try to be better about it then"....maybe I'm slowly teaching him how I want to be treated?
H put on his wedding ring to go to church, and didnt take it off until he worked out Sunday. S12 was telling us about a weird tv show he watched where this couple had been supposed to sail on the Lithsutania (sp?) and missed the ship, thought how lucky they were...somehow their wedding rings got fused together?????(makes no sense to me) and they got on board the Hindenburg for their trip instead, and "were in the 1/2 that didnt make it"....I don't know what made S bring up the weird show. Anyway, when we were in bed Saturday night, I was almost asleep, h was snuggled up against me, and he took ahold of my left hand. H said out of the blue "I wore my ring to church"...I told him I had noticed and that it meant a lot to me...Evidently I need to mention this more?????? then he asked if I had mine on...????? I have no clue why....???? I did, and told him so, and he kind of fiddled with the diamond and said maybe ours would get fused together too....I didnt know what to think about that.
H told me Saturday he appreciated all my efforts to lose weight...I told him I appreciated knowing he noticed and was glad he appreciated it, but that I was doing it because I need to for me....it is nice to hear he notices.
We grilled out for lunch Sunday, took a nap in the pm...we talked about how 2 summers ago we didnt do it at all (we used to do it alot), last summer only a few times. H said "see, I told you things would get back to normal"...after ml, he also commented "I told you we'd get this working"????????
H talked about ow/a matter of factly and off and on all weekend, and apologized several times. Said he had told her that S12 had called her "a wh--e with a rosary" adn it really upset her; said she used to quote bible verses to him ; that it was pure hell being around her by the end, that things came full circle, because it had a first seemed so wonderful, but then got to the point where he couldnt stand to be at her house H said she used to get mad at him because she would put me down, and he would stand up for me, telling ow I was reallly a great/good person. I think there's a dbing lesson there...because while she was putting me down, I was chewing my tongue off to try to avoid saying anything negative about her, (most of the time I managed not to SAY it, at least)so that H wouldnt feel he had to defend her (which he always did).
In the afternoon, h worked with me trimming trees in the garden I'm getting ready to replant. This is big, he used to not do a thing around our place...afterward, he commented how much better it looked and sounded really satisfied.
last night, we were snuggled up against each other almost asleep, and somehow wound up ml again. no performance problems then either. H seems happy with the way things go, when 2 weeks ago he was complaining to high heaven.
At one point, he commented "when you get your figure back, we'll really be a hot couple, and we can thumb our noses" I asked what he meant, and he said at ow...I'm guessing she told him I'd never lose the weight, and it is important to H to have some one to do physical things with him. Funny thing is the tables seem to be turning there also...I think I've lost some this week, and H keeps mentioning how fat ow is getting and how bad her eating habits are and how lazy she is and how she refuses to exercise....
This morning I had several emails, one mentioning how nice the weekend was and how much fun we had in the night...I flirted back with him. He did mention teaching the young, cute co-worker how to play tennis...I suppose I should be alarmed, it always alarmed ow that h even talked to her, but I'm not. I really believe he sees her as almost a D...
H wore his wedding ring to work today, I was clear out of the room when he put it on, so there was no coercion.
It occurred to me that one of my goals/dreams came true when H chose to be in bed ml with me on Saturday morning instead of rushing off to be w/ow. I longed for this so much for such a long time, and it never seemed remotely possible that it could happen. IT DID!
I have some goals for myself to get done this week. will post them tomorrow, headed to the fitness center at the moment.
adn it really upset her; said she used to quote bible verses to him 
; that it was pure hell being around her by the end, that things came full circle, because it had a first seemed so wonderful, but then got to the point where he couldnt stand to be at her house H said she used to get mad at him because she would put me down, and he would stand up for me, telling ow I was reallly a great/good person. I think there's a dbing lesson there...because while she was putting me down, I was chewing my tongue off to try to avoid saying anything negative about her, (most of the time I managed not to SAY it, at least)so that H wouldnt feel he had to defend her (which he always did).