I am beginning to let myself believe we have/will make it. I never thought I would get to that point. knock on wood...
Last night was low key, but friendly. H continues to talk about ow, but in a very neutral way now most of the time. He commented within the last week that he's able to talk about it more now because "it's done", that before it wasnt so he couldnt. I had noticed before that he always stopped talking when they got back together. that was one tip-off that never failed.
When he got home, he mentioned that he noticed she was up to her parking lot tricks again...I told him yes, I'd been irritated but decided it wasnt worth the energy...I did tell him my ideas for dashboard decorations and parking next to her, and he laughed. I told him about putting my stuffed devil on the dash before, and he laughed about that.
H said he ran into her as she was coming into the office, and saw her in the hall as he and co-worker were leaving for out of town, and that ow took off down the hall....that before he got ready to leave, he was in his office and she walked in, shut the door behind her, said "I am profoundly sorry" and then walked out. H said he didnt answer or even look at her, that he has told her he doesnt want to see her or talk to her and wants her to stay away from him, and he wasnt going to justify it with a response. H said her apology for for trying to run him down with her vehicle.
Then he said how awful she looks, he cant believe how unattractive she is, and asked if I thought she looked awful...said maybe he was just now seeing things as they are (!!!???) I told him that I don't look real closely, but that I havent noticed a big change in her appearance, that I never did think she was very attractive. h said "well, she has a nice smile sometimes"...whatever.
H said that he has decided he is not going to go out of his way to avoid her, not going to let her make him feel like he has to hide when he's here in this office. I think that's good, evidently we've each allowed the b---h to make us feel crappy.
later in the evening, H was talking again, this time about what a hard childhood the poor thing had. Evidently she claims that her family lived in a tent for a month when her father was transferred to an airforce base that was here in this town when she was in grade school. makes no sense to me, I always thought they provided better housing than tents for military families, and this was an airforce base, so why would army personnel be transferred here? Made no sense to me, but H is a military history buff, so I expect he would know.....
Then the devil got the best of me, and I did some bad DBing....I couldnt resist, I said "so where did they keep the horse that screwed up her leg, in the tent with them?"
at that H looked kinda sad, which I thought was weird, don't know what brought that on...but he said no, she & her X had the horse when they were married, "I've seen pictures of it"....yeah, right, whatever...but I didnt say anything. H then commented kind of sadly, "I guess sometimes you just want people to have a better life"...so he is still prone to her "victim power", but hopefully less so. I don't believe a word out of the woman's mouth. I believe she is a manipulative predator that knows how to lure her prey, and she will use any bait she needs to do it. H seems to vacillate between seeing this and not seeing it still.
H also said that he told her last week in that fateful phone call that he no longer recognizes her, that he cant believe the monster he sees/that she's become. H really does wonder about MPD I believe, and said that she commented that "I'm a Gemini (astro. sign), I'm 2 different people"...said he knows now to run for the hills if anyone ever says they are a Gemini again....
this morning H put his wedding ring on...this is big, and a first. For him to wear it here at work around ow!!!!! I really don't believe he is taking it off. I commented how nice it was to see him put it on, and he said "I'm working real hard to send a certain message here"...I told him I was all for that, but I hoped there was positive motivation behind him wearing it also. He said there was, but that he hadnt taken it off for negative reasons (this time, I added, and he agreed), that he has to take it off for weights and stuff and after a while it tears his finger up taking it on and off, because it's tight.
