On my thread I have written about finally accepting that I wnat H and my M and that that's okay. Like you one of the main reasons I stay is that I think I will have to deal with this and deal with the pain whether I stay or leave.
I will have to find forgiveness for H whether I stay or go. And I love him. He is really a good man otherwise. And I belive that if I hang in there may be in the end I will have a stronger M. I pray so.
Hearing your story helps to strengthen my resolve. YOu are one strong lady. I like your metaphor of trudging blindly on. I have finally accepted that I am in this to the end. No matter what it takes I will keep DBing.
Looking for the escape hatch is not what I want. That's the easy way out. Hearing your experience with gifts etc. helps. It helps to know I am not in this alone, that someone else has been there and survived.
Deb, I know there has been a lot of pain. But thank God things are looking better. Wishing you peace and blessings
