I have a question. If someone really cared at all about you don't you think they would care about the things that are most important to you? Express interest in these important things? Would you really think of someone as a friend or seriously consider someone for a R when they didn't even acknowledge the things important to you?
The reason I ask is because my kids are at the state swim meet this weekend. It's fortunately being held here so I could go. Anyway, my X called yesterday concerned about some tickets she bought that will be shipped to the house. She didn't ask about my kids even though I told her this was the state meet weekend. When she stopped by to go to the movie she didn't ask again....I just volunteered the info to her son in her hearing. Today was the last day of the meet. They didn't go watch them swim (I would have watched her kids...it just seems weird that this ex-stepmom has absolutely no interest in their lives). She didn't ask about them today. Well I went to watch a friend play volleyball today. The first thing she asked was how my kids did in swimming (and she has never even met them). All my XW ever wants to do is talk about herself and her kids and her hypochondriacal symptoms and about strangers on her favorite web site "my stupid mouth".
I'm sorry. I don't really think I should let this woman back into my life. If she suddenly showed interest in me and then my kids I'd see it as just a ploy. All her past interactions with them just seems fake now. I didn't ask her to love them and treat them like she does her own kids (although she expected that of me). But I would have hoped that she would have formed some sort of bond with them. One interesting note....when I've asked before if she wanted to come (before we were divorced) she would say.."I'll see if the kids want to". She's used that many times...and not just with me....if her kids don't want to do something then they just don't do it. She's went from mother to slave. Oh well...her life. I don't have to deal with it anymore. At least I try to reach out to the kids that shared my life for 4 years.
I don't think "she's an alien" or "she's got MLC" or "she's not herself" is sufficient. It's just as likely that this is truly who she is....I'm seeing the real XW. Her previous behavior towards my kids was a facade. The real woman is completely self-centered. That doesn't mean I intend to be. It just means I'm letting go and I'm not even sure yet whether I should take her back if she came crawling back.
You might be wondering about anything about the movie. We watched it together...it was pleasant...I kept my hands off her...and when it was over I said..."It was a cute movie. See ya later." and left. She acted surprised I didn't even ask what they were doing or anything else. I haven't talked to her since and I won't either. I'm taking a break from her. I will NOT initiate contact!!!!!
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
