I see no words of wisdom regarding previous post. But I thought about things last night and this morning while reading the love languages book. These are my two revelations and most of you already had them I'm sure.
1) I realized that I don't feel good about interactions with my X unless I've spoken my own love language (physical touch), but what I should be doing is speaking hers and just waiting for the tank to fill. I think Bruce had it right with either quality time or WOA. I've tried to give both. I suspect the talking part of QT is key. I just have a habit of touching her in some way (ie hand on neck/shoulder or small of back), but I think it's just that I'm letting my way of showing love come through. I think if I'm going to attempt to fill her love tank that I have to do it the right way.
The flip side of this thought is that I might not be looking at her actions, etc the right way. I expect/want physical touch. I want to give and recieve love in that way. I haven't been looking that hard at how she may in fact be giving some affection/love. If she wants QT or WOA perhaps she is giving back to me in that way. So we spend quality time together and she may be showing her affection that way, but it isn't enough for me. I have noticed sometimes that when she is most sweet to me that she also does AOS, but I'm just not sure that's her LL. She didn't complain about me helping out much. Anyway, I'm just saying that maybe I need to pay more attention.
2) I was reading the LL for children and it got me thinking that I want to speak my X's LL, but I haven't looked hard at my kids' LL. So I decided I should be focusing more in that area. My kids love me unconditionally and I while I show my love to them, I haven't been giving nearly as much attention to my R with them as I have with my X that abandoned ship. I know that my X's kids are PT and WOA. Her D is always just crying for WOA. Now my kids are harder. My oldest I think is PT and perhaps my youngest is receiving gifts. But I think for the most part I give them a fair amount of each category, especially QT, gifts, and PT. Maybe I need to pay more attention and drop in more WOA. I think I'll spend the next couple weeks focused on making sure I know their LL and applying it.
That's all I wanted to say for the day. Don't know if anyone will find any useful info there, but I'm mainly thinking out loud. Have a good day everyone.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
