Quote: I would tell OW that I wasn't ready for a serious relationship at this time, the D is still too new. I would love to spend time together and see where the relationship goes from there.
She has been divorced since October, so that's pretty new. This may be a reasonable approach to the situation. Maybe she wants only that too. At this point she just moved to town, knows only her family, and isn't that long out from divorce. Maybe she wants nothing more than companionship. But I'm not sure how easy it is for both people to stay on that same page.
Bruce,
Quote: Do you want to miss out spending time with OW/GF/new girl because of feelings for X?
No, not really. But I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to hurt her if things get more involved. Right now it's safe because we are just getting to know each other...but going forward?
MrMom,
I appreciate your unique insight. I again posted on your thread, but I'm glad you came over here. I hope your wife comes to the boards sometime too. It's very nice having a success story on the board to offer advice. One thing I do note is that I feel more detached from my ex as I've started seeing this girl.
We have no kids together so we didn't have to take a parenting class. But I agree that there may have been a better chance if there was a mandatory year waiting period. Maybe I should suggest that to the legislature.
As you indicated and Bruce noted several posts back... I'm going to have to make a choice. I think if a person chooses to continue loving their spouse/ex then it's not really healthy to start another R. So I see three choices...Stay out of relationships until I'm truly over my X, follow Linda's suggestion and see if K (the new girl) is okay with a not serious relationship, or give up on X and see where this or other relationships go.
I'm going to have to take some time off and just think about it. I've got time away from all women so it will give me the opportunity to think things through.
I really appreciate the advice. My heart and head are telling me two separate things and I need to take the time to listen to both. I need to think about the best way to be true to myself....I still don't know.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
