Quote: Turn this around, how would you feel if you found this woman still had (strong) feelings for X, but was going out with you to see "what happens?"
You had to ask this didn't you? I said be honest and you were and while you didn't answer it flat out...you gave your opinion. Honest answer....as I currently feel... I would be relieved. Well then both of us can see what happens. But if I had no hang-ups about my X then I would be upset and I wouldn't care to see her anymore.
Actually I didn't go over out of guilt. I had arranged yesterday to drop off this present since I'll be gone til next week. I intended to drop it off and run. I didn't really get miffed by her attitude, just a little "turned off" and I wanted to know if there really was something.
Okay...I'll quit skirting the issue....which is:
Quote:
A two-parter. One, do you honestly think XW is going to want to reconcile in the near future? And two, are you going to miss spending time with someone who enjoys your company without an underlying dangerous current on the chance XW may immediately reconsider?
Answer to first. No, I really do not at this point think we'll reconcile in the near future. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I know it won't if I fall in love with someone else.
The second question I'm struggling to figure out what you are asking. I will definitely miss spending time with her. Is that because I enjoy some dangerous undercurrent?? No, in spite of the nagging feeling/guilt/whatever I like spending time with her. Are you asking if I want to see if this makes my X immediately reconsider? NO!!!! I don't know if I'd want her back if she found out and then was asking for a second chance. I don't think a R would work on that basis.
Oh, I call her OW because I guess I don't know what to call her. GF? (seemed to soon for that...but I guess). Or maybe you are right that I think of X still as W. I've been divorced for such a short time and things aren't any different than separation that it's even hard to really think I'm divorced.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
