Post I put on Gabe's old thread for fun. I guess I better post it on my own.
I was writing on a newbie's thread and it got me thinking of some things, especially in light of the Dieda book. This man sounds like he went along with about everything his wife said about career, moving, where to live, what to do for activities, who their friends would be, and was critical of things that he was interested in. He wondered whether he really wanted his wife back considering things weren't great anyway.
Which led me to my response which was...but did you give up who you are for her sake. Was this always how you were or did you bend for the M? She became a taker because you hogged the role of giver. I'm sure if we lose sight of the things important to us and the people that we are, our spouses lose respect for us. That isn't the person they married. Sometimes when we are making changes, we should be thinking whether we need to make the change back to the person that we were...that perhaps we changed away from for the sake of harmony. If other guys are like me, they are willing to go to great lengths to avoid conflict with the spouse. But sometimes we just can't without compromising ourselves.
I think in many ways I'm a better person, more able to handle adversity and more will to listen and respect the opinion of others. But since the bomb I've become perhaps too willing to settle for less. Is that who I am? Is that attractive? Just a thought. I need to look at myself and make sure I'm not sacrificing important pieces of myself for the sake of a R that won't stand a chance if I'm not true to myself.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
