T, thanks for the movie lines. Does that mean I should learn from my mistakes with another woman, quit letting my ex hit me with a stick, or that my hurts should be in the past?:)
For inquiring minds I will post about the date last night. It was so nice. Just dinner, but we talked for three hours during it (no, we didn't eat that long...) and then a short drive, then talked for quite a while more at her place. And no, not a whole lot else. She was very nice and very easy to talk to. I thought we hit it off pretty well.
I realized that it is so pleasant to talk to someone where there is give and take of information and a conversation that doesn't have an undercurrent of sarcasm and criticism. When I talk to my ex anymore she doesn't open up at all about anything. She primarily discusses current events, her kids, or sometimes people she "knows" from the internet. Everything is seen in a negative light. She's usually "fine" and that's the extent. I'm sure she's not in a place where she wants to be open with me anymore, but there was really a noticable contrast. I'm just stating the facts, not saying..."and that's why I give up on my ex". And in answer to your question dejavu, no I didn't think about my ex at all. Maybe wistfully for a bit when I got home. And no, I didn't discuss my ex in any detail. Oh, one other thing that was nice....calling after I got home to make sure she made it okay (it was raining hard when she went to get her kids) and not worrying that it would not be well received. And I don't have to carry the conversation or worry that all she wants to do is get off the phone. Okay...so maybe I'm being unfair to ex. Most of the time the convo flows okay, but she does sometimes just abruptly..."okay, bye".
Oh, one disturbing footnote. Her H was the WAS, but when she decided she was done...she was done. It was over. He did the beg, plead, etc routine but now they don't have so much interaction. She says that things are fine now between them, but I certainly didn't get the feeling that she was pining away now that he was largely "dark". What disturbed me was that she was broken up about it when he said he wanted a D, but then when she made up her mind she stuck with it, even though as the LBS she had to be feeling some temptation to come back to the R. It just gave me a sense of how determined that must make my ex-W since she was the walk away.
Well enough prattling on. I'll close. Any suggestions, advice, or other is appreciated.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
