Hi all,

Out of town for work Thursday and Friday so no time for posting. I also found I couldn't bring myself to post.

I got my Deida book. I'm not sure how applicable I feel it is to a relationship where only one of the people in it wants to feel the other's love (that would be me). But many of the points are well taken. Basically I should be telling her to kiss off because wasting this time and energy on her is bringing my life to a standstill.

No updates that I care to share in specifics. Basically too much pursuing and way to much pressure and a feeling from me that I don't really give a rip. Highlights? I've called too much since my last post, asked her to the movie on Friday, called her on Saturday, she came by unexpectantly and unannounced last night (just to say 'hi'--I wish I had a woman in bed with me ), I told her on one occasion I thought she was hot (not surprising since I do compliment her on things quite a bit) and later that I loved her (not in answer to a question from her but rather....hands on her waist, looking into her eyes, flat out saying 'W. I love you'.) Both occasions we got into a little discussion of the reasons why. It's too long and complicated to get into. I also talked to her this morning without reason. I'm sick of me and I'm sick of bothering.

One thing I was reading about was the "testing" part. How you handle the tests that your spouse throws at you. I doubt she's actually testing me, but I've been upbeat despite any amount of her pushing me away and that't the only thing in all this I'm pleased about.

I've read your posts. Interesting discussions. I'm with Dogma in one thing. It doesn't matter if it's MLC, PMS, depression, seven-year itch, or constipation that contributed to this. The basic truth is that my wife had no desire to be married to me and plans to stick with her decision. It doesn't help me to pretend to know the reason. I'm still divorced. Although she wasn't mean about it (basically she just said...this isn't healthy), she made it clear enough that she prefers the divorced life.

Anyway, I'm not angry or bitter at ex. I'm thinking critically about myself. The Deida book has got me seriously considering whether I'm wasting my life away on this fruitless venture. Is she really one of my goals? Or is she actually an obstruction?

I'm going out with this new female acquaintance tonight. I'm going to have a good time. I'm going to apply some listening skills. And at the end of the date if I feel good about it and find her as interesting as I think I will, I'm going to ask her out again (that is if she is interested). I'm not going to get into any discussion of ex-W and try my hardest not to even think about her. I'm not thinking past tonight, but I'm not going to let some pipedream of a relationship with a woman that doesn't want one (namely my ex) spoil things.

That's it for now. I'll just give a blanket statement that I read all of your posts and you are doing great.
Jo-don't kick yourself about dropping the ice queen bit and that was great about the bush trimming.
Gabe-you sound solid as always
Bruce-you sound healthily indifferent to your wife's reasons for D.
Kevin-Your sitch sounds good. Hope you make the most of golf
T- I'm still not sure about your sitch. Give it some time to resolve itself. I just can't get the feel for where your ex is at.
Linda--You haven't had much to say. Are you doing okay? Keep up the good attitude. Hope the hair turned out okay.
UD--you sound as introspective as always, but we want details. You have to have seen your W by now.

That's all for now. Hope your Sunday goes well.

Wes


In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt