I would just like to say that you are a fool to give up your old name. That name was cool. What kind of a name is La_esperanza? Sounds like a girl's name.
Anyway dude you are a better man for having spent your time on this bulletin board surrounded by all these caring people. But you really should quit talking to yourself.
Aren't I a goon?
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
T is dejavu. I was just playing with that old name.
Gabe I need advice and you are the only one on here. I hope you still are. Here's the scoop. I stupidly called by ex tonight. I know...not smart. She was out or going out with her girlfriends. I think she was already out. She told me which bar they were going to and said I was welcome to come over. There "is one girl you'll really like". Then she laughed. I said "Oh yeah" and she giggled. It then struck me that she was talking about herself. I said "yeah, I'm sure there will be a girl there I will like". I kind of waffled on whether I'd show up over there. She did ask a second time and said "well that's where we'll be if you decide to come out". We talked a bit how I might need to show up just to fend the guys off her. I closed with "if at the end of the night your driver or you are too drunk then you call me and I'll come get you. I'll get your friends too."
So, should I go over there and meet her? My heart is giving me mixed signals. Maybe I should not do the pursuit versus this could be a very good time with her and a chance to relive old times (we used to love going out dancing). She asked me more than once. Sure she didn't phrase it like "come out with us", but it was an invite all the same. So anyone's thoughts? I need a quick answer if possible.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
To be honest. After all the interactions I've had with my ex, all the pseudodates, all the sexual innuendos and attempts to seduce her. I'm scared. I don't know what I want to portray....a confident person that's fine with showing up alone at a bar to hang out with his ex-wife and her friends and is fun to be around (I hope I can pull that part off) or if I want to be someone that doesn't need to be around her. I even debated going out but to a different place and seeing if she eventually showed up over there.
But when all is said and done I'm scared of going over there. I'm afraid what my expectations will do to me. But she was the one showing confidence here (almost like she threw down a gauntlet). Should I pick it up or not? Imagine me....worried about pursuing.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
I put a finger on it. My expectation for once is pessimistic. I worry that she'll totally blow me off. Make it clear that she doesn't care about me. Dance with other guys in front of me to see how that goes over. Chat with her friends while ignoring me. Maybe even teasing me with her friends. My confidence is in the sewer. I'm more confident than this.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
My thoughts exactly. Why not go with this role-playing and swoop in there, acting as if you are hitting on a gorgeous stranger that you are meeting for the first time?
Romance her and if she plays along, see if you can steal her away from her girlfriends for a bit or the rest of the evening.
Dress sharp, smell nice, and have your A-game on. As Bruce said, all with low expectations. Remember, how many times does a guy get shot down asking for that first dance?
I'm living vicariously thru you for the moment, Wes.
I remember in my youth walking into each club or bar, and finding the prettiest woman in the place, then going up to her to strike up an convo, have a drink, or ask for dance. It was great practice. First, it allowed all the other women to see that if she did so, I might have something to offer them. Second, it was likely that most if not all of the other guys didn't have the balls to do the same, so my chances were better than one might expect.
You going up to your wife first, but with an air of mysterious confidence will be fun, light, and will communicate this appreciation of her. Thats all that matters, Wes. She'll remember that later. Be fine drinking alone. Flirt w/ the bartender (if female! ), chatter with those around you, and celebrate life, this country's birth, you name it. She will be watching you.
Contact her, wander away for a bit, but always keep her at the center of your focus, your circumference at the place. She and her GFs won't be in charge, with you confidently moving about, expressing your masculinity. Sounds cheesy, but those are the true dynamics, my friend.
