Stolen from previous posts on this thread Read "Why does he do that"
But in truth I feel if you are overly jealous and controlling you are setting yourself up to be lied to. And make your spouse miserable. Your S will hide things from you for fear of repercussion. People are people and they need to have lifes and freinds and such to help enjoy life and if you stop them they will start to lie and hide things from you. A person can only allow another person to strip so much of there self away before they become miserable within themself.
Sometime W flirted little too much and other men took it as an invitation. I was setup. In other areas this is 100% true. Was too insecure to differentiate.
Mr. H, if you're reading this, take it from me. If Chrissy left you, you might find yourself wishing you had handled things differently. You have to let the past go, because you can't change it. You don't know what the future is, but what you do now affects your future. So all you have is now. If you want your tomorrows to be like your yesterdays, than just keep on doing the same thing and they will. If you want your tomorrows to be better, make changes today. What else can I say? Maybe this: You don't know what you've got until you lose it forever.
Very True There are two sides howeve you could not describe my sitch better. My fondest wish is my kids forgiving me. Wife is working on evening the score. However as we sow so shall we reap. Building a works and does not work column. Controlling definitely does not. Anger definitely does not. Giving does. Forgiving definitely does. Honesty and apologies when you are wrong are in the works column.
If a controller (as I was) reaps their sowing they are not a victim. Not to say they need to protect themselves from overzealousness but do not deserve or need sympathy. little legal advice manybe, and letting them know somehow they need to change.
Controlling behavior is based on false entitlement, fear, and lots of energy hiding to the world what you really are. I know. Ashamed of what I was. Not Ashamed to admit it. Your basic personality is broke a foot above your being. You can trim the symptoms but as vines they grow back to haunt you and the people you are involved with. You need to fix what is broke otherwise you will die alone and miserable repeating your mistakes. Sorry if this is rough but it's simply true.
DB and change yourself. What is the alternative?
DB. What is the alternative? More of the same?
Best wishes from a FORMER controller
"All I want is a weeks pay for a day's work" Steve Martin
