I am so sorry that your situation did not end the way you wanted it to. But have faith I truley believe all things happen to us for a reason and that all life experiences are what makes us who we are and God has contol of all just never gives us clues until it is time to show us the whys.
__________________________________________________________ Do you two want to go on and on about who's right and who's wrong or do you want to get your relationship working? __________________________________________________________
Well essentially this is my H post he was the one who wanted to state the question. Though since I am the one sitting here typing it and my wordage is coming out it probably does not reflect what he is wanting to say. Which is why he was wanting me to add this and that to tell them this and that. Hence the post will really never say what he wants it to unless he types it himself.
But my answer to your question is Where none of this is a burning issue in my Marriage to myself I am complying with his wishes.I feel they are way bigger dragons in our marriage to combat. I am not sitting here trying to point fingers. I myself hope only to gain some personal insight and understanding to peoples different opinions of the sitch. Without understanding you you only can look at your side of the fence. These I do not feel promotes healing. I feel no right or wronge on his part or mine for seeking emotional support. It was a need we both had but for different reasons. And though again I feel terrible for the pain it has inflicted on my H. None of this relates to the main problems in my M. They had been there since the begining. And I truly feel that had the other people in my part that where involved had not interviened the way they did I would not be sitting here typing this I would be in a grave or a mental institution. So though I do regret the pain I caused the benifit on my part was well worth it. And terrible as that may sound I will add I also feel my H has benifitted more then he has lost to these people ie he is not a widow, he is not a single parent, AND BIG ONE HERE he does not have to carry the burden of responsibility he would have had had I carried on my path of self destruction and have died or totally went insane.
Now I cannot answer for my H but I will state my opinion here. My H I feel is looking for validation. He is one that always feels he is in the right.Or needs to feel he is. I think he was looking for all to jump on the his bandwagon to show me how terrible I am. But that is my perception of why he wanted me to do post the original question. Not for better understanding but to prove to me how terrible of a person I am. In a word and in truth I feel my H fixation on the kiss the lies and such is just to keep himself from having to take on any responsibility of fault for our current situation. And yes had we have been happily married before this I would agree he had no fault but that was not the case.
Again I am so sorry for your sitch and wish you the best in the future.
