Hi I just have a question and would like input from others. This may be a off the beaten track question. But I am going to throw it out there.
While reading through post on a different forum I came across a thread from Ron. I could relate to the basics of the thread so read all the way through. Last night I showed this thread to my H. (Maybe not a smart thing I don't know).We came across a difference in our view of a part of a response on his thread. And since I did not want to highjack or interfer with someone elses thread here I am.
The statement is as follows
_________________________________________________________ It's not honest or fair to anyone involved to claim friendship rights with someone you've had an affair with.
I read this as if you have had a affair while in a relationship you have no right to stay friends with them or state that the affair was friendship. My H reads this as if you have ever had sex with someone prior to your current relationship you have no rights to remain friends with them
The question is this. If a person had a relationship with someone in the past then ended that relationship. Later gets married or enters another relationship.Yet remains friends with or later befriends that person they had been in a R with is that a affair. I am speaking actual affair. ___________________________________________________________ The dictionary states a affair A romantic and sexual relationship ----------------------------------------------------------
I myself do not feel it is since the sexual relationship was prior to the commitment of the marriage or prior to any relationship being formed with the later couple. I believe that just because two people make a lousy couple that they can still make wonderful friends. And there is nothing wronge with this. I do conceed if anything that it can be percieved as a EA. But again to me emotional support by someone of the oppisite sex does not always foot the bill of a EA either.
My H feels that if a person as ever had a sexual relationship and any form of relationship is still intact including friendship that it is a Affair if you later become involved in a new relationship. IE... It is maybe okay to seek friendship with a male or have male friends even if you are in a R or M as long as there has never been any form of sexual relationship in the past or present.
I hope I have worded this understandably and I thank anyone that takes the time to post there input
