Back from a rough weekend trip to H's former hometown. We were supposed to pick his Mom up and take her to a family reunion. Unfortunately , the day before she messed up her hip replacement and had to go to hospital. We still went there and visited with her. We also went to the family reunion. H hates the town, his Mom is a depressed, sad person who doesn't have it in her to have a positive, coherent conversation with guests. She doesn't mean to be that way. She just is. H pretty much has made peace with seeing her a couple of times per year and just dealing with it by phone or letter the rest of the time.
I realized that I was being obtuse when I thought we might actually have sex the week before a trip to Moms. Duh - he was dreading the trip and so....no nookie. The trip was ok but as he said he comes back feeling like crap about himself and now I am on my period so he has every reason to delay actual sex and all sexual contact for the remainder of this week too. Let's see - it has now been two weeks of no sex, let's go for three. I hate this friggin cycle SO MUCH.
Also, I made some "noises" about wanting to talk last week which H sidestepped and I allowed him to sidestep. Now, I am mentioning it again because what the hay - can't worry about ruining the sex we aren't having by initiating "the talk" again.
Is it me? I don't know. While we were gone we went to see the Dukes of Hazard with the kids. Silly movie. Jessica Simpson in small outfits was the highlight. She has an absolutely incredible figure which was shown off nicely throughout the movie. Any guy between 12 and dead would react to Jessica. I don't know if H did or not. I found myself wondering if the LDH's on this board were married to Jessica in all her blond, porno body perfection would they still rarely desire sex? I wondered more specifically if H had Jessica instead of me (or the playmate of his choice) would they be burning up the sheets? I know that this is an unhelpful downward spiral of thinking but I am stuck here for the moment.
As I typed this H emailed to say "Hey, let's go out alone on Saturday." He is such a good, caring man. Why doesn't he want me? I just keep getting stuck there.
