Quote: I also remember the comfort of knowing that my parents really loved each other even though as an adolescent it was a little icky to think about.
That is sweet.
What exactly is the problem with kids knowing that their parents are sexually active? I mean, you don't want them actually witnessing anything overt, but surely it's good for kids to know that their parents love each other physically, right?
I think you are absoultely right, karen. I think it is part of good parenting to model what loving couples do. Kids are outwardly grossed out by affectionate behavior between their parents, but they secretly think it's a great indicator that things are going well. Affection between parents helps children begin to form their own healthy opposite sex relationships.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Do you really think kids are outwardly grossed out by their parents affectionate behavior? I don't necessarily see it that way, but that's probably because I grew up with my parents being very openly affectionate in front of us (hugging, kissing, some slight groping, pats on the but etc)....and yes that was comforting (wish they were still that way today)....but for me that taught me that behavior was healthy, good, and part of a loving relationship.
OTOH....My H wasn't raised in a household with outward affection. His parents kept everything like that to their bedroom, at night, behind closed doors....so he was never taught that behaving that way is good and healthful, which is probably why in the past he has sought out very sexually controlling women.
I'm sure you are right though that many kids do at least feign disgust when their parents get all mushy in front of them
Me too. My parents were always affectionate in front of us. MrsGGB's parents never even touched each other as far as she knows. As she puts it, there was no warmth in that house. I suspect it is a large factor in her squeamishness about anything sexual. I'm trying to teach her that affection is good, and that the kids should see it...at least the rated PG parts of it
Exactly...in my H's house his parents would mock fight...not really fight mind you, just kind of banter back in forth, that's how they showed affection towards each other...the kids knew they weren't really fighting....but they never touched in front of anyone. Completely opposite from my folks....so now my H is having to learn that it's ok, it's good, and it's something "I" need him to do.
Quote: I'm sure you are right though that many kids do at least feign disgust when their parents get all mushy in front of them
This is exactly what I meant. Kids almost always make some comment like, "There they go, smooching again". Most can't resist adding a dramatic eye roll.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Innnnteresting.... same thing here. Mom & Dad Choc. were always very warm and affectionate, and my whole family hugs and kisses a lot. Mrs. Choc's parents are very platonic, with only pecks "goodbye" on the cheek and such in front of us.
I think it is primarily icky as an adolescent to think about sex between your parents because you are in the process of figuring out your own sexuality. You don't even know yet what you will find icky to engage in with someone. You don't know yet what sex will be like or if you have engaged in sex or some furtive type explorations the results are probably mixed. All of that adds up to some confused feelings about parents sexuality. That being said, I do specifically recall being comforted by my parents being romantic together.
I agree with your analysis of why adolescents feel icky about their parents sexuality. Even if they are sexually active and well versed in the mechanics, they have little experience and there is barely a person there to share with another sexually. They try to apply their limited knowledge of sex to adults and come up with, "ewwww gross".
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Back from a rough weekend trip to H's former hometown. We were supposed to pick his Mom up and take her to a family reunion. Unfortunately , the day before she messed up her hip replacement and had to go to hospital. We still went there and visited with her. We also went to the family reunion. H hates the town, his Mom is a depressed, sad person who doesn't have it in her to have a positive, coherent conversation with guests. She doesn't mean to be that way. She just is. H pretty much has made peace with seeing her a couple of times per year and just dealing with it by phone or letter the rest of the time.
I realized that I was being obtuse when I thought we might actually have sex the week before a trip to Moms. Duh - he was dreading the trip and so....no nookie. The trip was ok but as he said he comes back feeling like crap about himself and now I am on my period so he has every reason to delay actual sex and all sexual contact for the remainder of this week too. Let's see - it has now been two weeks of no sex, let's go for three. I hate this friggin cycle SO MUCH.
Also, I made some "noises" about wanting to talk last week which H sidestepped and I allowed him to sidestep. Now, I am mentioning it again because what the hay - can't worry about ruining the sex we aren't having by initiating "the talk" again.
Is it me? I don't know. While we were gone we went to see the Dukes of Hazard with the kids. Silly movie. Jessica Simpson in small outfits was the highlight. She has an absolutely incredible figure which was shown off nicely throughout the movie. Any guy between 12 and dead would react to Jessica. I don't know if H did or not. I found myself wondering if the LDH's on this board were married to Jessica in all her blond, porno body perfection would they still rarely desire sex? I wondered more specifically if H had Jessica instead of me (or the playmate of his choice) would they be burning up the sheets? I know that this is an unhelpful downward spiral of thinking but I am stuck here for the moment.
As I typed this H emailed to say "Hey, let's go out alone on Saturday." He is such a good, caring man. Why doesn't he want me? I just keep getting stuck there.
