Damn it! Nothing again last night. H snuggled up naked with me in bed again and again - nada. He even made his little appreciative noises - "Mmmmm" as I stroked his chest hair and snuggled into his neck (I love his chest hair and I love his smell). The next sound is a soft gentle "Zzzzzz".
Wow - we haven't seen each other in a week and he isn't motivated to make love? I am. I am motivated to do all sorts of carnal activities but I am not motivated to provide his end too. He is such a good man and such a great husband, protector, friend. Why am I the very, very last on the list?
So the question on the list for today is whether there really is "always tonight" because it feel like there is "never tonight." To those folks who make the long list of things that come before ML. I used to do it in my first M too. One day I timed a regular, weekday lovemaking session - 17 total minutes. Don't tell me that you simply can't figure out how to "fit it in" among the laundry, runny noses, making dinner and balancing the check book. When I was LD I used the same excuses. The excuses added up to me being emotionally out of that marriage for several years. That is the scariest part to me about my current H. Is there "always tonight" or are we just on some kind of slow downward spiral to the point where he eventually leaves the M, finds someone more to his liking or what? I am sounding bitter and frustrated today because I am bitter and frustrated.
