Well....H and I went out for an hour for ice cream last night and had a nice chat about work, kids etc... Then when we went to bed I rolled over and initiated some play. We still can't ML so my intention was to just give him the bj that I mentioned a few posts ago. He seemed into it and was happily rubbing my squeezy bits (as much as he could anyway). Here's the confusing part - when he came, it was kinda halfway - he did ejaculate but it was too short and he stayed hard for quite a while after like he wasn't quite finished. So I said, "H it feels like you didn't quite finish" since he was making his let's cuddle up and go to sleep actions. He took a looong time and finally said, "No. I didn't finish. We need to get some sleep." This has happened once before with us when we were dating and that time we just went for it again and he had a really good second orgasm. My sense is that he didn't finish because of being tired, still being sad, being pre-occupied or something like that. So.....do I address it more. Do I just leave it? Do I initiate again tonight and help him and me get some closure because my sense is that after only finishing part way last night getting to the finish line tonight would be a piece of cake. What do people think?
Strange aside... I dreamed about the baby last night. It was a good dream. In the dream an intact, partially formed but perfect fetus was floating around in a perfectly clear bubble (amniotic sac) in a sea of blackness like the sky. The whole scene was very peaceful like baby was saying "It's okay Mom. I'm ok." I didn't dream anything like this last time this happened. Last time it was so early that I didn't actually see any fetal tissue. This time I did but it was just kind of a mass and pretty indistinguishable. TMI - I know. Anyway, the dream was very helpful in making me feel that this baby knows that he/she was loved and now he/she is with God. It even felt like maybe this baby was waiting to come back to me later when conditions are right. Who knows. Oddly, I just feel better.
