The pregnancy hormones are finally crashing and the real mc is beginning. That is good because it should mean that further medical intervention won't be necessary. But by the time I stop bleeding and have the green light for sex H will be leaving on his week long boys weekend. I have been striving since the beginning of this R to come to terms with this trip but it just touches a very tender part of me.
The trip is something he has been doing for like 18 years or so. All his college guys and any sons 16 or older go. They get drunk, act silly, and play for a week at the beach. My H is not a womanizer nor untrustworthy in ANY way. I resent the hell out of this trip because they act like it is a religious experience. I FEEL threatened by it (for absolutely no reason). I had been doing really well about it this year and really been sympathetic about how important the whole "brotherhood" thing is to them. I made my own plans (like I try to do every year) and was moving forward. Now...after a few weeks with no sex due to the miscarriage it will be another week with none and my H traipsing up and down bikini beach in the meantime. D@mn it!
I e-mailed H about my feelings that I wanted to have some sensual contact even if we couldn't have sex but I stayed away from the subject of the trip (he HATES that I don't feel ok with it but he also knows that I would NEVER ask him not to go).
Any words of wisom? BTW -this trip always magically combines with bad timing in some way - last year I was newly postpartum and returning to work when the trip came up, the year before I was in my first trimester. This year I am recovering from a miscarriage.
I know I sound crazy. I gotta get some perspective on this.
