Well I don't think you need to give up your fantasies but I think that you and I need to be ready, and willing, to state upfront what we want in our "dream" dates. That is, be willing to state "oh that sounds great--I'll tell you what would really cap a night like that off..making love afterwards!"
I know it's pressure...but dangit, it is a 180 for me.
Last night, we were talking and H was positing that I am a night person and he a morning person. I told him that I'm not really a night person. While it's true that I am more alert at night than first thing in the morning, I don't like to stay up late nor do I like to wake up late. He said, But you always want to stay up and ML. I said, H that is because I would rather ML than get 30 minutes more sleep. That is a preference of mine that has nothing to do with night/morning person. I just like sex and prefer to do it alot.
This was a definite 180 for me. I am not usually so blunt or graphic or OUT there with my sexuality. My tone was kind and matter of fact and with no trace of attacking at all. So he took it well and for the statement that it was.
Karen, I'm really done with stuffing my true feelings away or "hoping" that he will remember. I think my new tactic is going to be to state upfront what I'D like out of my own darn life and yet make sure at the same time that I am doing it with his feelings at the forefront.
So my vote about the upcoming dates is to not let this wish fester for the next two weeks, but to say to him, You know when you mention dates I automatically think of ML that night. My brain just connects sex with romance. Do you think we can incorporate that element into the date?
I'm sure that the LD folks who are reading this are going to jump in and hold up the red flags and shout, Stop the pressure! but like I said, this is a 180 for me to state upfront what I would like to happen. In the past, I would have just hoped that it did and then been bitterly disappointed when it didn't.
