As far as asking for more "quality" in your sexual encounters, I think you should do whatever you think it would be reasonable to do if you had a HD husband. In other words, as I so crudely put it in one of my posts- Don't build him a handicapped ramp to your p*ssy. I am adamant about this not just because I know I would be bitter in the long run if I settled for lower quality sex in order to get more frequency but also because I don't think doing a lame *ss job at anything in life encourages you to do it more often.
However, I do agree with Cally that frequently bringing up sexual preferences or just nudging things that way while actually engaged is sometimes more natural one reason being that a lot of things that seem really hot while you're doing them don't seem that hot when you're unaroused and vice versa. I think another good though not exactly straightforward approach is to just say something like "While I was sitting bored at work today I started having a fantasy about you giving me head. It was a really hot fantasy.".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
