I thought I would check in. H and I are doing very well. There is more sex (though not as much as I would like). More initiation by him (not as much as I'd like). Less resentment on both parts. More spontaneous displays of desire (not as much as I would like).
We are on the "slow boat" in the sense that we still need to work on regularity, on expressing needs, on variety, fun, play etc.... These things are all very difficult to my H. I really get the sense that we are better because finances have improved, H is exercising and feeling better about himself and I have lowered some of my defenses and expectations in favor of feeling my way through. Is our doing better any reflection of anything I have read, discussed with H, written to H? I have no idea. So... how are we really doing and what is the prognosis? Anyone's guess. I am still looking forward to our WWME weekend in November.
Recent events:
A friend of hours is strenuously avoiding proposing to his gf of seven years. I keep asking H why. The gf is Barbie beautiful, smart, accomplished etc... Finally, it comes to light that they didn't have sex until 2 years into the R and that even now it is an "event" when they do and all too rare. I have no idea of the actual frequency but here was H's take: "I couldn't have stood it if it took 2 years until we had sex", "I know that you sometimes feel that we don't have enough sex but I certainly wouldn't be happy if it was like that for us." I really should have run with this conversation but I was just suprised to hear that H saw himself as valuing the sexual R that much. Hhmmm....
Last evening (and frequently over the weekend) as H and I snuggled up watch tv - H proceeded to rub my back very sensuously and my @ss also. Over the weekend he did that every night and that was followed by sex every night!! (even though he kept saying how tired he was). Last night he didn't initiate although I'll bet I could have and would have gotten a favorable result. It has been just lovely.
I am torn between the desire to enjoy the place we are in and the desire to parlay this progress into progress in other areas. For example, is now the time to mention that I would like more oral sex? Is now the time to mention that more kissing (not just passionate pecks) would really rev my engine? I know that the several ladies here who have made progress will be familiar with the dilemma. To pressure or not to pressure that is the question.
