LOL Karen... it does feel that way... H sizes my mood up and plans his self-preservation strategy, rather than being a source of comfort. Today I have more emotional reserve and will not play out this dynamic...if a chipper mood is what he needs to see when he comes home, then I will do it. It's what MWD says...do what works...and she is a smart lady. Unfortunately I sometimes don't or can't seem to follow her advice.
Journey, My H does the diagnostic scan as well. Also, he puts a lot of pressure on me to be chipper when he arrives home. Now, with me being a 7, this is much easier on me that I would think it is for you. Still, somedays it is a struggle to muster up a smile when D3 has stuffed something down the toilet and I have to fish it out with my hands. KWIM! Anyway, I sympathize with you on this front.
What works for me is to keep in touch via email and tell him what's going on..."I'm not in the best of moods, because of ABC. I will try to cheer up before you get home, but if not, don't say I didn't warn ya!"
This heads up helps us both detach from the other...I am flat out saying it has nothing to do with him; he is aware before doing the DS that it has nothing to do with him.
And if it does have something to do with him...well, the DS isn't usually necessary cause I've most likely run my fat yap already and let him know about it. LOL
H and I have reconnected...he was affectionate last nite, as was I, and this morning we ML. it seems like we have these upheavals and then they run their course...the trick is to figure more preventive strategies and quicker resolution.
On a yuck note, my eczema is flaring up ( typically happens in the summer) and I feel more LD as a result ( now I really sound like JJ's H). I just called and made an appt with the dermatologist ( have to wait 2 weeks).
Do you ever go to the tanning bed? I usually have more flare ups in the winter. And my doct recommended I tan durring flare ups. Something to do with vitiman D to the skin? I have not had a bad flare up in about a year. When my nerves get real bad I have had some minor ones but nothing real terrible.
Chrissy... I think it's because it's really hot here and I am probably dehydrated. We also got a hot tub and that doesn't help either. Oh--and I am stressed out too ( but that's the same in all seasons,lol). It's usually mild so I am grateful for that.
I woke up early this am and was in a twilight-zonish, half-asleep space and just had this feeling I wanted H. Since I was semi-conscious I " forgot" about all the things that would stop me, and I intiated. I guess H's defenses were down too because he just responded and it was such a natural, easy-going connection. It was so nice not to have to jump through all the mental hoops that go on when we are fully awake and back to our guarded selves.
Yesterday I was telling H that I feel at times I can't be more playful with him; that he somehow brings out my serious side. He told me I should try to get back to thinking of him as when we first met as friends---somehow this marriage stuff made us both too uncomfortable.
What could your H do to be more manly? I think my strong willed wife first like me b/c she felt I was strong, but not overbearing, now I feel like she wants a manly-man to bring her libido up. After 14 years of marriage, I'm looking for what to change and I thought maybe you had some insights.
Thanks
Do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=UBB24&Number=896649&fpart=&PHPSESSID=
We ML again last nite... I had the bravery to say that I wanted to O and H commented that it's good I am speaking up, so some progress for me on that front.
As we were going to sleep, H said something like "that's it for while" and about "not expecting anything this weekend," which is fine by me, but the way he says it bothers me, like I have been indulgent kid and it's time to sober up.
