Lil... You and Chrissy do seem to have an intuitive sense of what I need when I get the "downs." It would make life easier if my H were able to respond to me in the way I need, but I have been down this road more times with him than I care to admit. I think he is esp vulnerable to mood shifts because of his alcholic father; he loved being with his dad, who would unpredictably become an angry, abusive drunk, and H learned to detach. I understand better now what it entails for him to step forward when he sees me " not all there." H triggers for me scenes with my mother, who wanted me to be a certain way for her.
I don't know what's a typical 4, but I have a feeling I am a lot different from, for example, JJ's H, in that I am usually very upbeat, animated, smiley, etc....until I am not. It's like I am a rah-rah type person who can't sustain that, and then I get pensive, introsepctive, analytic, and to myself. I guess I see how this affects H, who depends on my enthusiasm and is so sensitive to my moods. The process I am trying to pull off is compassionate differentiation...trying to HOM and self comfort, communicate to betterto H instead having the usual disappointment, and gently having him look at his own reactions as well.
Anyway, Lil and Chrissy, thanks for your support... I feel better this am and will hopefully have a decent weekend.
