H came through last nite despite there being little sexual energy between us for the last few days. I'm impressed by his commitment to this whole process; he pushed through his feelings to initiate and bring the heat, and my body responded. We didn't do the kinky thing I suggested, but he did make reference to it, and said maybe another time, with no judgment in his voice.
The whole thing had the feeling of making a date to go to the amusement park, both of us not really feeling up for it but knowing we should anyway. Instead of standing me up, H showed up; we went on our favorite, familiar ride, bypassed the new ride I wanted to go on, but pointed it out. And, we made a date ( for Sat) to do it again.
I gotta say I'm dead curious about your kinky suggestion. If you were my real-life friend I'd ply it out of you over coffee and chocolate.
BTW: You kind of freaked me out with your comment about Hank on GEL's thread. It was like you made me realize that Hank really is just a figment of my imagination and therefore a part of me and therefore I am my own ideal lover. How narcissistic is that
On the topic of complete fantasy escapism. As I mentioned before, I had had a couple drinks before my last fight with Mr.W. At one point during the fight I was lying on the bed and I said "I would like it if I had a husband who would just hold me sometimes." and I curled my body as though Hank in his current burly lumberjack mode was actually in the bed to curl into. Stunned would be the best word to describe the look on Mr.W's face.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Journey, When you guys have dates, what is it like in the interim?
Is there any flirting, any sexual vibe going on? Or do you wait for Date Night?
I'm trying like hell to get this schedule thing down but I obviously didn't factor enough sex into the bargain. Even with pelvic pain constantly throwin water on my hot mama attitude, I still seem to have more of a need for it than H does.
He is currently in his "I will offer it every 3 days" mode. Gosh I hate this. However, I have been doing quite well with it because he's making an attempt to be somewhat (that's probably an overstatement, lol) sexual in between. Some days are better than others, I should say.
How is your daily vibe?
We've been awfully stressed out--me, mostly--adjusting to H's new schedule. He is staying 2 hours later than he did at his old job, but still leaving at 5 in the morn so he can make it to Mass. I'm trying to be my usual cheerful self when he walks through the door but it is getting HARD. I'm only one person, meeting the demands of 3 small children by myself for over 13 hours a day. He's here to bathe them and put them to bed. Ah but enough of that. My point is: If he were hot for me, I think I'd be energized by that and be able to make this transition smoother. We need to work on keeping the vibe alive during the Off Days and I was curious how you do that. H seems to have two speeds: Off and On. Me, you gotcher low, you gotcher medium low, you gotcher....well, you get the picture.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Hahahahaha...reminds me, we are going to see Spamalot next month!
HP... We are on similar wavelengths. We're trying to increase the sexual playfulness on the OFF days, and I have to say that we have gotten more open about this in the past month, with still a long ways to go. Also, periods of stress will completely negate any interaction, so I need to keep a mental note of these occasions. The teasing/grabbing/verbal remarks tend to be one-sided in that I will switch gears and go along with the fun when he's in the mood, but if I get frisky and want to show it in some way, I never know how he's going to take it. I have been more forward lately knowing Hank always welcomes my sexual gestures ( Hank is hippie/60's cool right now, with his developed biceps showing as he plays guitar). He is so dammm cool about anything I do!
Oh and thanx for remembering about my little girl...she'll be home next Sat!
I've been feeling very LD lately, for a variety of reasons, and unsatisfied with the "tone" of our ML. Just kinda unsatisfied with everything--myself, him, and "us". I haven't said anything because there are quite significant areas in which I am not doing my part and until those are fixed, I have no right to b*tch.
So I was curious to see how others handled the off days. I'm pretty good on the first off day and even the second. By the third, I'm feeling totally disconnected and as if he couldn't drum up desire for me if the world depended on it.
Today is the third day, so I've got a little action plan going. Firstly, I went back to weight watchers last night. I am indeed 2.5 lbs heavier than I was 2 months ago. I want to get a handle on this. Secondly, I went back to the doctor this week to get the pelvic pain sorted out. Thirdly, I dressed sexy as hell today, wearing my new VS thong (in an orchid shape, very pretty), a short skirt and a tight shirt. MrH will either love it or feel icked out by it. His reaction, nothing I can do about it. I feel damned good right now. Finally, I emailed him and told him that I dressed up for him and to please acknowledge me when he sees me so that I don't feel invisible. He wrote back that he can't wait to feast on me when he gets home, which I thought was a very sexy thing to say. (by the way, I did not phrase it in the negative way I did here, I was all lightness and flirting in the email)
I realize this last part was controlling, J, in telling him that I'm dressed for him, but I've had 100 too many incidents where I do dress for him and he won't say a word. Then on a different day he'll say, My number one fantasy is for you to wear a short skirt. I'll say, H!! I do that and you don't acknowledge it! He replies, Yeah but I did notice it... Sigh.
So I was trying to avoid that scene and yes I am being controlling. Hey Rome wasn't built in a day.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the response. I am just as responsible for the off days as he is. Just because his responses are slight, does not mean that I should always stifle myself. IOW, I need to take my own advice once in a while.
HP, You are taking steps in the right direction, and I hope you have a nice nite. That's pretty much my tolerance too, with the every few days ML. And hey...even if you have a big blow-out, you just wipe yourself off and start afresh.
.